#WWRRM: Worldwide Recovery Recognition Month Declared in August 2017

That’s right!!

I am officially declaring the month of August to be worldwide Recovery Recognition month or #WWRRM.

Apparently in the USA, SAMHSA organization has their National Recovery month be in September–but I’ve come to find recently that there is no worldwide recovery recognition month, so I figured making a whole blog series about it would work! 😀

So, I’m going to need help from you guys! I want the month of August to be filled with our voices of recovery–of the struggles we’ve had, even the ones we’re still sifting through–and how we cope on a day to day basis. I want our voices to shine loud and proud as our SURVIVORS RADIATING BADASSERY is taken to a global stand!!

Spread the word, people!! And if you’d like to contribute, be a part of this movement or do anything else to help it grow, comment down below or send me an email at recoverytowellness@hotmail.com

I envision our recovery recognition (hmm, is #WWRM or #WWRRM better?) month to be bursting with stories–featured blog posts on this blog about stories of hope shining in the darkness, of sharing coping strategies, of reasons to live, of gratitude, of ARTWORK, of positivity, of compassion, of peer support, of LOVE and LIFE. 😀

Our mascot is officially going to be a unicorn (because unicorns are awesome). And our ribbon? Haven’t totally decided on that yet! But I’m thinking one arm of it will be silver. I’m also thinking of doing a tree within it, or a world on the middle, or the hashtag, or a universe/galaxy mix of colors or doing a symbol or I don’t know.

What do you guys think??

Also, when you share your stories, feel free to be as open or private about it as you want to be. This blog of mine is public, so be aware of that. You can give yourself a pseudonym, that’s totally fine. 🙂

BONUS: Here is a website I found last night about the popular ribbon colors and PATTERNS and symbols that already exist. I know we’re extra special people so we’re gonna want something different, unique, yet also simple enough to reproduce.


AND this is recovery from mental health and substance use where applicable. 🙂

Come on my worldwide buddies, let’s make this a fanciful pursuit!! 😀


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤


Not Maybe, But Definitely

Daily Prompt = Maybe

The world has gone on long enough

Treating the mentally ill awful and rough.

From mocking our symptoms

To dismissing us as self-proclaimed victims.

We huddle in our corners

Isolated and grieving like mourners.

Cut off from the world

Our damaged souls frayed and furled.

We want to come out

And shout all about

“Look at me! Look at me!

I exist, don’t you see?”

Why do you choose

To turn your back on us like we are an unlit fuse?

“Can’t you see? Can’t you see?

All that you are doing to me?”

Your eyes are glued to the skies

The clouds not parting, muffling our cries.

“How can’t you hear me? How do you not care?”

“No!” You snap back. “I do care–I just cannot bear–“

“Bear what?” We reply. “This is our burden to carry.”

“Maybe,” you mutter, “but it is too often scary.”

“It is scary because you do not understand!

The light that scatters through us, falling like sand!”

“And how am I to know,

If you are strong enough or to fall like snow?”

“Because we are mighty and strong!

We sing our beautiful survivor song!”

“A song you sing? What is this you speak of?”

“Listen well, and you will see our love–

We sing of courage, of strength and light,

We sing long into the prowess of night!

We are human and we feel

That our experiences are very real.

We may cry, we may linger

We may stumble along like a make believe figure.

But we are tough–in body and in mind

And we will stand no longer for you to be unkind.

We demand our powerhouse to be seen.

Our voices linger and they are not keen

On being silenced and hidden for any longer

Maybe this is something you should ponder

We are ill in mind

And while you may be blind,

It does not make us broken,

Rather allows us to be spoken–

That we are not alone

And that we shall be known

As gladiators. As warriors. As fighters.

Some of us may even be writers.

We are strangers no more,

Doctors, artists, professionals galore!

We have degrees,

This we shall decree!

We are just like you,

Similar, but with a different view.”

“I–I see,” you stammer “there is more of you than just one.”

“Why, but of course, my friend. Why ever would there be none?”

“I…still do not completely understand what it is you see

How you can live this life and just be.”

“It is through time

And much patience that we develop our climb

Yet it is worthwhile for us to find our hope,

To believe in a better tomorrow and positively cope.

Our journeys may be chaotic,

But to some of us, we smile and say ‘exotic’.

And with resiliency we manage to live,

With meaning and purpose we choose to give

To those in our community who still struggle

And for those of you who have yet to juggle

What it is like to be sick,

With no choice allowed to pick

What it is that inflicts us,

So thus,

We ask to be shown patience in kind,

For us to learn and find

What it means to be happy to be alive,

For we may always strive

To live a life worth living,

For you to be forgiving,

And for us to be proud,

That we’ve been allowed,

To bring life to another day

Where eventually we are okay.

Rough Night | Film Review #1

Hey everyone!

So, I’d like to start doing these things called film reviews on my blog, along with my book reviews. I also want to watch through seasons 1-8 of House and make a seasonal review of that, too (which will be a larger project over the course of this next year).

Technically while this will likely be the first PUBLISHED film review, it’s not actually the film that inspired this series. That film, Demolition, will be having its review within the next month. I will probably do them out of order as I’ve recently made a list of films to review and want to get them going and really, order doesn’t necessarily matter (it’s just an excuse I use to keep myself from working on these blogging projects and I’m getting tired of doing that, as it’s only kept me from updating and writing rather than getting it out and published).

Any who, there MIGHT be spoilers ahead so if you want to watch this film and NOT see my review, then well, don’t read this post, silly!!! (I lied, I don’t mention spoilers, BUT the comments section may include people who have seen the film in which I may engage in deeper discussion with them about it, so, for that section, you may want to avoid it if you still want to see this movie before reading about it!)

I will follow a similar style and format to my book reviews for these film reviews: A summary of the film, what film/year it is, reference to important characters, spoilers or non-spoilers may abound, anything that stuck out from me (depending on where I found/watched the film) and a recommendation score based on my audience (i.e. people with mental health conditions) from a scale of 1 to 10. 🙂 Let’s jump in!!

Film Review #1:

Rough Night (2017)

About My Experience Watching this Film:

So I’m about 99% sure this is the first movie I’ve gone out on my own, AKA alone, to see EVER. I heard on the radio that some people were thinking of this movie as a “chick flick”, I’d say it actually has a lot more substance than that! (Nothing against ‘chick flicks’).

It took me a little while to get into the movie, for me, it was hard to see Scarlett Johansson as her character (Jess) rather than herself. I’m not sure why, but Scarlett is a beautiful woman and her hairstyle in this film is so very striking (short) and she pulls it off SO well, maybe that’s why I was finding it a little difficult to see her as JESS and not herself. (Which is not to imply I’m a major fan of her which is also NOT to imply I’m not, just that I don’t know well enough about her to distinguish her from HER rather than the intricacies of the character she is playing…if that makes sense. What I mean to say is, although I’m not a major fan of hers to watch every interview or anything like that, though I am also familiar with some of her work (Lucy/the MCU), I can’t quite explain why I saw her as herself in a character she was playing as I don’t know who she really is beyond some handful of roles and characters she’s played. You know what, never mind.)

Off the tangent! If you can get past the initial sex/dick jokes and the outstanding amount of substance use in this film (see trigger warnings down below) which, in some ways, normalizes the idea of substance use, glamorizes it and puts across the idea that in order to have fun one can only be wasted/high to do so (let alone plan appropriate next actions, or should I say, inappropriate next actions)–all of that considered, I rate it pretty well, still!

The basic summary without giving away the details of the plot (which I found to be unexpected and why I do NOT consider this a ‘chick flick’ and why describing it as such hides the humor, friendship, triumphant love and nay say against procrastination in life) is that it’s about 5 old college friends who meet up again for the weekend to have a fun time with Jess who is about to be getting married some time in the near future. They go out to have fun and have a–you guessed it–rough night to say the least!

If you’ve also seen this film and want to talk about it in the COMMENTS section, let’s do it! Otherwise, I’d prefer to NOT give anything further away which is pretty much the rest of the whole plot, which there is a lot of.

I WILL say that I totes called it from the start of how things were going to go. Maybe that makes it predictable, I’d say it makes me badass. (I’m still very novice at understanding the intricacies and complications of films and so for me to anticipate what was going to happen is a HUGE accomplishment ;))


Trigger Warnings:

  • Substance use and a LOT of it (alcohol, Adderall, cocaine, meth)
  • Sex worker/sex/penis jokes (and paraphernalia)


PS There’s an activism character and LGBTQA+ stuff too, which I enjoyed, naturally 😉


Themes in the film:

  • How to maintain longstanding friendships, especially after college, and how things are inevitably going to change and unless you change with them, expect some bridges and connections to fall away to the wayside
  • As people change secrets start to form by accident or on purpose. Maybe there is some acceptance of this that needs to be taken place?
  • Keep track of your priorities: Make time for your roots/where you came from and who brought you up when you get high up on the ladder of life.
  • How love withstands, and friendship too
  • Near death experiences can change us, we hope it’s for the better
  • Don’t procrastinate, we’re not giving a set amount of living time.


My Recommendation Score:

With everything I’ve stated considered, I rate this a:

8 out of 10 movie.

I hope you enjoyed my first ever film review!! I’ll be adding the category tab to the bottom of my blog page soon! (Once I remember to do it again). I’ll have more posts up and ready this weekend, including some SHOPPING that I did :D)


Thank you so much for reading!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Let me know what you’d like to see from me next! 😀


Worth It | Avengers Fanfic

Inspired by June 13th 2017’s daily prompt: taper

*I do not own these characters. All rights go to Marvel.*

Worth It

Summary: Loki removed the shining silver utensil from the nearest table. “That may have been Hel frozen over, but I am not known to fail on a mission.” In which Loki goes to the ends of the world to get what he wants.

A low hiss sounded in the dark abyss.

“Please, d-don’t,” came the hoarse whisper as pain settled deeply into the man’s bones. Jet black hair lay in a tousled heap, sweat sticking the loose strands to the man’s flushed cheeks. Rivulets of the liquid mixed with the man’s tears as they became one on their way down slender cheeks. The man’s lips were parched, his throat a mess of raw tissue and red staining wine. Except, of course, it wasn’t wine, but rather the blood of his heart that circulated through his body, pouring out from his open mouth as he spat feebly in response.

The pain, by the Norns, was the pain unbearable.

Electric shocks zapped through his body sending him into reigning spasms, uncontrollable quirks of his tissues as they shivered and shuddered. His hands, weak and useless by his sides, tingled with the shock that was working its way into his system. His palms itched, his fingers cold to the touch and his veins were pronounced–protruding outwards like high-rises.

His brain was sludge, barely working, barely functioning, and he, he was barely breathing. Thoughts rumbled into one another with a force so heavy he thought he might dry heave. Scattered were the remnants of his memories as flashes of a red cape, lightning and a blonde, blue-eyed face appeared in his vision. There were pieces of a brightly lit rainbow, a helmet man, an eyepatch, red and gold and so, so much green.

He felt the bile in his throat rise as he rasped out again.

“P-please, d-d-don’t,” he begged quietly. Forming words on his cracked lips was nearly impossible, but he thought maybe, just maybe they had come out all right. Maybe, just maybe, the Norns would grace him with repentance and kindness–just this one time.

But he was never so very lucky.

“–orry Reindeer Games,” the voice, rough and gravelly, didn’t sound so convincing. It sounded strained, as though difficult work lay ahead and the man felt fear rise unsteadily in his chest.

If this was just the beginning, he’d rather not be around for the climax.

“P-please, j-just k-k-k…” he felt his energy zap away from him as though he were a machine that had been startled from being pulled out from its energy source.

He felt so very, very sleepy.

His eyes wavered in their blinking motion, green orbs unfocused as the world swam around him.

“-ey, ’ey! Stay with me, okay?” The voice, whoever was speaking, sounded a lot more concerned this time around, even if the slowly losing conscious man noticed a hint of malice in their tone.

He violently wanted to complete his prior thought, but the sentiment rolled away from him like spilt marbles on an escalator. He watched in mild fascination and severe distraction as they glimmered like diamonds, like the jewels he once collected from Vanaheim.

Jewels, gems, Mother.

Oh, how the universe was ever so cruel to him! Why could he not be within the arms of his lovely mother, a mother who loved him dearly despite his abhorrent nature?

Green eyes rolled uselessly in their sockets, a cry of pain escaping his lips as the pain drilled onwards. Deep, deep into the flesh of his flesh, the bone of his bone, his brain could not comprehend the atrocity of what was occurring, but somewhere deep within himself he knew he was responsible for the pain.

He knew somewhere deep down in his heart that he was getting off easy with this flavor of punishment.

Maybe the Allfather had finally given him the reprieve he so wished for, just in the most brutal and terrible of ways.

Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be long for him now. Maybe he’d be finally allowed to let go of this haphazard wasteland of a life that was so cruelly cut out for him when he was found, abandoned, on that icy rock. Maybe it was time for him to finally breathe again, by way of no longer being.

The trickster felt all of these feelings, raw and pure and immobile, as he lay wherever he lay, in a world he was uncertain of, with a purpose long lost from his reckless fingertips.

His eyelids began to flutter shut, as the cool embrace of nothingness encompassed him, but as always, he was never let go of so easily.


The trickster could not even suppress a groan.

The bumbling buffoon came running to his side, wherever that side may be (he certainly couldn’t tell), clasping one of his icy hands in a fiery bath of warmth.

Loki tried to pull away instinctively, but the older demigod refused to relinquish him from his grasp.

“Loki, what is the meaning of this?”

The urge to yawn strangely swept through the younger sibling before he could stop his mouth from opening and spilling out the breath he had unknowingly been holding.

“Friend Stark, why has my brother taken to sudden illness?” Thor’s expression hardened as his eyes narrowed in suspicion; “Has something gone on while I was away?” his voice was low, as though issuing a threat, which Loki was surprised to hear from his not-brother.

The aforementioned individual raised two hands, palm open, in the air.

“Whoa there, Point Break, I was just helping out. I figured you’d be pissed if we let Reindeer Games,” he gestured to the limp figure on the cushioned table, “die.”

A frown and look of confusion etched its way into the features of Loki’s face.

“I’m-I’m not–” Loki reconsidered his words carefully, “is it over?”

His words were measured, controlled almost, and whispered delicately as if their utterance would result in a swooping motion of reapplied pain.

He waited a second, two, three, but the pain was tapering off. He felt himself regain control of his once trembling limbs, his fingers feeling warmer than before (except for where Thor held his hand, which he still grumbled about and tried to pull away from) and his head clearing considerably.

Of course, leave it to the Allfather to give him a sudden illness only for him to wish for death then take away the opportunity straight from under him.

“What happened?” Loki asked next, seeing as how the Man of Iron had yet to answer his previous question.

Tony Stark quirked an incredulous brow upwards and snorted to himself, pouring himself a glass of scotch while holding up a torched, smoking circular object.

“This thing was the cause of your plight,” he tossed it lightly to the demigods. “Would you like to keep it? I can probably score one of those medical jars that doctors keep record breaking tumors in from Pepper, if, you know, that’s your thing.”

Thor looked to the object in equal amounts of confusion. Before he could ask, the memory clicked in Loki’s mind.

That is what caused all of this?” He sounded dismissive and hardly believing some metal bracelet around his ankle was capable of so much damage.

“Well, you were on house arrest. What did you expect? You can’t just show up a few months after New York and picture Fury welcoming you back with a pink ribbon and a Pride parade.” Tony took a swig from his scotch. “You gotta earn that last one.” He remarked, winking.

Thor cautiously picked up the device. “What–?”

“Lokester was on house arrest; meaning he wasn’t allowed outside twenty-five feet from here to, well, anywhere. Fury wanted to make sure the ‘subject’ remained a part of the tower and only the tower,” Tony shrugged, “we needed something nearly indestructible and he wanted me to tamper with the thing. Never thought we’d have to use it, but Reindeer Games here just couldn’t stand another night without peppermint ice cream.” Tony gave a pointed stare to the offending victim. “Cue the bright lights, party anthems and the ferociously bad ailment, and voila, here we are!”

Thor sent a curious glance towards his brother.

“All for this…peppermint ice cream?” he questioned, gaze lighter than it had been in years.

Loki half-shrugged then smiled mischievously.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never had any,” Loki chided, smile growing wider. Before his not-brother could reply, Loki removed the shining silver utensil from the nearest table. “That may have been Hel frozen over, but I am not known to fail on a mission.”

“Except when–” Tony began about to point out the obvious failed mission of recent news but Loki shot him a glare that silenced the man for now.

“What do you say…brother?” Loki challenged his older sibling with sparkling green eyes.

Looking back at his brother as though he’d just seen him alive for the first time, Thor let a small smile form upon his lips.

“I call forth for another!”


A/N: This fic was brought to you by my sleepy musings of Loki wearing an anklet which turned into an ankle bracelet mixed with WordPress’ daily prompt on June 13th 2017 “taper”.

Ta-Da! Something serious that just turns silly.

Additionally, I’d like to thank you all for reading! I’m back with notes on all my stories and soon to be published pieces although, I’ve recently gotten a puppy and inspiration is dodgy at best. Regardless, expect many writings over this summer! Thank you so much, peeps!

Also, if I had to go through an immense amount of pain before I got ice cream mine would be Ben & Jerry’s Boom Chocolatta. So worth it! What would you choose?

And I don’t own these characters!!

Written June 13th & 14th 2017.

My Solo Time

Daily Prompt ~#~ Distant

I’m on break for about an hour. By 9p I have to feed Galaxy (my hamster) and by 10p go to sleep. Probably will take out the pupper before going to sleep, and just chill before I fall asleep, too. I’d like to read a little, but most definitely I’d like to sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep.

And yes, you read correctly: We got a PUPPER!

We’ve renamed her Mocha.

I would say more but, I’m awfully tired. ^^; Woke up at 4am with her for her to go potty (she’s only had two pee pee accidents in the house so far) and was awake still around 5am before falling back asleep and getting up around 8am.

Grandma and myself and Mocha went for a BIG walk early at 9am. We stopped by our elderly neighbors to show her the puppy, it was sweet.

Mocha took quite a few naps (all mainly on my lap) and we chilled outside on the porch for a while too.

Then there’s been meals and more naps and playing with toys and eating my hands. LOTS of eating my hands. She’s teething and her bites can quite hurt! D:

She’s about 4 months old, the Labrador retriever mix. Her eyes are grey and soooo beautiful.

She’s learned sit already (Grandma’s help!) and she LOVES her treats. She was learning ‘beg’ today, the sitting position where they balance on their back legs and hold their front legs up.

She also learned the stairs and when my Dad got home, RAN with excitement up them (uh oh!!!)

She came into my lap yesterday when I had a bad cough attack. That was very sweet. 🙂

She’s pretty calm and is still a bit timid of other doggos, and likes people. I got her some cute ice cream plushie toys and she’s pranced around with them so far. I’m thinking of getting her that chew toy rope thing that has cooling ice to help with the teething. She’s had a bone, an ear and the little dental chews already, so far.

I’ve been a bit paranoid about ticks and bites but so far, no incidences.

I had a little bit of a tough time with mental health last night. It went away though.

Also, she snores!! XD

Yawn. Any who, the distance is set a little bit, although I just want to keep observing and watching her to make sure she’s all right! Must be what having a baby is like. My parents are watching her right now, but man, I don’t want to miss out on the action that’s happening (or not happening)!

I’ll be on again tomorrow, when I get a chance. We’ll see when that will be.

Here are some photos SO FAR! (Not from my camera yet because I’m lazy)

Mocha 1

Mocha on her first day with her chew for dental hygiene. 🙂 Aren’t her eyes GORGEOUS?


A sleeping Mocha today.


Another sleeping Mocha (once I moved)

Mocha 2

First day, Mocha and I cuddling while she slept. 🙂

Mocha 3

Not the best quality but what we looked like from afar.


On the way home first day!

We’re getting a better crate for her, in the future use, so don’t panic–Internet! She was REALLY good the way home on Sat. So far since, well, there’s this loud piercing high pitched noise she does…. XD

Now, I’m paranoid about mosquito bites but that’s all for now! Hope you enjoyed this post, and I hope I can do some of the things I want to do, too, throughout the week!! 🙂

See ya, peeps!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Getting Ready for Saturday June 3rd

It’s nearly 10:30p and I’ve just finished getting ready for tomorrow’s big day.

I hung out with Elisia today, which went swell!!! We made safety plans each of us on fancy stationery paper (I’ll put a slideshow below, they’re from Google!), got me and Galaxy some more food, and TOYS that are ADORABLE for le doggo, and money and gas out from the bank PLUS a little bit of stationery and some metallic markers (that I quite like and were cheap!) and some other markers that I don’t like especially for its whopping $10!!!! So, I’ll be returning those this WEEK.

Any who, I’m tired and exhausted for sure.

I wanted to just write a little before bedtime.

I typed up the directions for the place, since it’s at the end of the world in Rhode Island. I printed out my adoption application and the paper that says to bring my ID, ze money, a crate/towel and … that’s it.

I’m nervous!! Mainly for the drive there…

We’ll be leaving at about 8am to get there at 10a. Yep, gonna be THAT long.

If we get her tomorrow, we’ll have to stop by the pet store (I’m hoping for PetSmart it’s waaaaaayyyy better than Petco, and so much CHEAPER!) to get her doggy food and some of the essentials for right away. Then there’s the licensing for later this week and going to the vet and most definitely getting the anti-tick spray. NEED THAT FOR SURE (I don’t want to get Lyme disease!)

It’s one of the FEW things I DON’T have.

Any who, I should head to bed.

This may be my last night alone ❤ Here’s hoping! ❤ ❤ ❤

PS Her current name is Pocket

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In Which I want to blog but can’t think of Anything to Say…or, How to say it

Daily Prompt = Portion

Oh god, you know you’ve been away from blogging too long when you can’t recognize or remember which key is the link key D:

So I have things to say but I don’t know how to say them. It’s been a while. It’s been a while…

I haven’t been up to much, actually. Read two books. Completed one book review today, woot!

Been coughing and coughing and taking things for it, and still coughing.

Been drawing a bit.

Been writing letters to my pen pal.

Hanging out with friends this week.

Going to treatment appointments: Saw my therapist and my psychiatrist this week.

Was lazy as fuck last week, and procrastinating blogging and reading, until I cracked on Friday and gushed over an AWESOME book.

Then I spent a few days this past week not online much at all, not even on le Twitter.

Been counting down the days since Day 11 for the pre-adoption event happening


at the end of the world, in Charlestown Rhode Island (which I can’t even imagine nor want to what THAT drive is gonna be like) for a


That’s right! I’ve convinced the parents about the concept of getting a doggo. Beseechingly they don’t want a puppy but ah well. They’re hard work I’ve been warned, we’ll see how that goes in ACTION.

I don’t want to spoil her picture until we get her FOR SURE, but she’s adorable as fuck. We MIGHT rename her as “Midnight” though she’s not dark furred. She’s approximately 14 weeks old and a Labrador retriever mix. She’s got them grey-blue eyes (my Mom thinks it’s green pppfttt)

Oh! I’ve been hella enjoying some Hello Kitty socks this past week. They’re pretty cute, even though I don’t fancy Hello Kitty much.

Other than that I’ve been bored as fuck.

I had reorganized and cleaned my room a couple weeks ago to doginize it. That was good.

I want to type up what I have pre-written of my novel to be (one day) to work out what I want to do with it and brainstorm on here with you guys ’cause I….well, that’s the only sure fire way I’ll know what I’m doing with it. Plus, maybe you guys will give me some dazzling new idea. 🙂 It’s called “The Cards We’re Dealt” *nods*

I’ve done some IOS, nail painting and those drawings to update you guys with, too. Also, some more new video work on my Youtube channel.

Elisia and I are going shopping tomorrow! 🙂 I also have to get out the BIG BUCKS for the adoption event, too. I’ll show you what I get later in the week.

Although it’s no longer May, I want to still finish #SADIM. And not rename it. I can do what I want, I figure!

I also have to brainstorm and notate my fanfictions because there’s a lot of them and I can’t keep track of what happens in which one and where and details and all that jazz.

Hung out with Elliot yesterday! It was all right.

Finally found that Boom Chocolatta ice cream again. And ate all of them today….


Any who, I’m going to take the meds I forgot to take this evening, stretch and do some light reading before bedtime.

Hope you guys are doing all right!!!!!!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

PS This had absolutely nothing to do with portions, unless you count the implied, here’s an update about portions of my life 😉

Am I Wrong?


I heard about the news via Twitter last night. Before the news came filtering through the television’s speakers. Before I had time to really think about it, I just wanted to push it away.

Am I wrong in doing so?

I can’t relate, or more so, I don’t want to relate.

I don’t feel hopeless about the state of this world we live in. Not when hearing about homicides that is. Suicides, those are different. But apparently not when they are homicidal suicides.

Maybe I shouldn’t be voicing these opinions. Maybe it’s best for me to sit on the sidelines and not say a thing.

But the news doesn’t stop. The details don’t falter. Twitter’s trending with the news, the news itself won’t shut up about it, and I deal with obsessionality so I can’t stop fixating on it either.

I just…don’t want to know. I’m tired of hearing about these atrocities, I remember hearing and avoiding them inpatient, I wish there were a way to avoid them better in real life, on the online world. Instead, it just follows wherever I trickle by.

I just want to distract myself with coloring, my artwork, my life, my stuff. Avengers clips, fanfiction, good stuff. The good we have in the world, rather than the bad.

I couldn’t have changed a thing from where I’m at in this world. It’s not like I could have prevented a thing.

So let me live in my little bubble. Let me keep my empathy to myself for once. Let me push aside the cruelty this world can be and look forwards to what good there is in it, the good there is to live for and live despite the worry and the concern that some day–boom–it may all disappear.

Manchester. North Korea. Russia. Gays in concentration camps. The Holocaust. 9/11.


Let me live in my bubble. Let me be safe. And let me apologize to those who’ve lost their lives and have had their worlds shaken, for I do not place myself in your shoes, I dare not to, because I may lose my faith in this world after all.

Let me look at doggos and count the days until I get my own. Let me watch Avengers and Thor clips and dream about what’s yet to come in the MCU. Let me think about good vs evil in the artistic display of high definition through Youtube. Let me read fanfiction about equally atrocious acts yet with a prevailing love and peace and safety at its heart.

Let me not dwell on what happened, and instead focus on what little I can do to change people’s lives for the better–by little acts of kindness.

Let me keep my emotions and thoughts to myself, sharing them with those closest to me. Let me have the strength to venture outside without fear of being killed.

Let me not crave to be taken where I could not take myself.


I am sorry, world, but just let me be.

25. Spreading Kindness| #Blog4MH

Hey everyone!! I am BACK!

Finals are OVER and papers have been sent OUT! I am FREEEEEE!!! For the summer at least! Which is enough for me 🙂

I was in such a GOOD mood on Monday after listening to some Sleeping At Last and so I’ve decided to end off the semester with some MORE random acts of kindness! So far I have made about 5 positive messages, 2 formal cards, 6 short letters, 6 stationery kits and here’s hoping for 60 positive messages, 10 short letters, 3 formal cards, 8 stationery kits, 5 drawings and 7 bracelets!

Here’s examples of how things are looking so far:


So those are some examples of the stationery kits, the positive messages I’ve made so far and some of the letters! OH! I also added a couple of drawings to the cards, here are those:


So yeah! Exciting stuff!

This is also a small reminder to myself to print out one of my earlier blog posts so I can bring it to therapy tomorrow. 🙂

I plan on heading up to school on Thursday this week, as finals are still going down, to spread around these kindnesses–probably in the morning and arriving home again in the early afternoon 🙂

Plus I still have to read BOOKS and drop them off in Quincy and write book reviews…LEGASP. That’s what I have to do tomorrow.

I also need to doganize my room (dog organize) so when we get our new addition to the family (I’ve got my parents in the bag for this!) they will be able to be in my room without chewing (hopefully) on anything I have on my floor!

So today after I finished writing I worked on the kits and letters and hung out listening to Youtube and tweetering, still.

I actually have an additional RESOURCE for you peeps. I lost all my faith in Twitter today BUT then I got a letter in the mail and it RESTORED it!

There is this founder, Tiffany Lewis, for this non-profit organization called “Pens for Pals” that is an anti-bullying and suicide prevention worldwide program where volunteers get matched to recipients of the same age to receive handwritten letters of hope, inspiration and peer support for whatever they may be struggling with. It’s optional to write back the sender, and they send out letters either weekly or bi-weekly. I got my first letter today!! You can even hear it be read out by Tiffany in this Youtube video below: (I totes suggest checking out the channel, there’s not much yet but it’s a brand spanking new thing (only been going for 2 weeks!) and will grow in time for sure!)

I love the message she is spreading and sending out, and she says in another video that she’s been doing a similar thing for years now, and just recently decided to take her mission to the non-profit level! I think that is AMAZING and awesome and super kind and compassionate of her (plus all the people who are jumping on board the campaign!)

So, spread the word out, peeps!! Their website is pensforpals.org if you’d like to check it out, too.

I’ve already written up my response letter and just have to wait until tomorrow before I can send it out.

There is ALSO this twitter account (and Facebook) called ProjectBuddy that also pairs people on twitter and instagram with someone to talk with and connect with if you’re struggling with suicidality (I believe, but don’t quote me entirely on that!) There are all sorts of resources out there, so keep on looking out for them!

That’s about all I’ve got to say for now, knew I shouldn’t have had that coffee milkshake at 7p! (It’s nearly 11p and I’m pretty much awake right now)

See you guys tomorrow!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Update: Finals

Ugh. Just, ugh.

I’ve been working predominantly all day on finals prep stuff (mainly papers after papers) and I’m so done… except I’m not! SOBS

My ass is sore, I’m tired (and will have to retire to bed soon), I still gotta feed Galaxy and I’m behind in blog posts. GWAH I know I’ll be able to catch up with plenty of time AFTER tomorrow but still. 😛

I’m so ready to be done with this semester! I can’t wait for summer when the weather actually decides to cooperate and to hang out especially when we get our doggo and then to just blog and vlog and everything like that. AND BOOK REVIEWS! Plus movie reviews, which I’ll be starting soon.

Also, it was my blogoversary yesterday, but I had to put off posting about it until I could really get to it, which won’t be til AFTER tomorrow.

Elisia and I are going to go to the Thomas Crane Public Library after our final and hopefully find a CVS store so we can eat some much needed Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and just relaaaxxxx for a bit. 🙂 I have to book review 2 books before I can drop them off though, GWAH!

And I’m going in late tomorrow for school since my final isn’t until 3p but the afternoon train would be too late, so if I don’t finish my papers before then I’ll have to work on them at school, ’cause I don’t want to bring my laptop tomorrow. :S

So there’s that.

I swear this is the fastest I’ve written up a post in a WHILE.

My brain is sludge and a slushie right now. I want a slushie. I should go to sleep soon. Probably read through one last article and then do the writing and revising tomorrow.

Wish me luck, folks!! ❤ ❤ ❤

24. Spreading Stationery Love | #Blog4MH | Coping

So, I’ve been totes holding out on you guys in the blogosphere when it’s come to my expenditures in the stationery haul shopping world. But I’d like to update you all now with some of the new things I recently got (shhhh, don’t tell my folks!) and some of the older stuff I got a while ago, that I shared in my last Youtube video. :3 As well as some coping stuff I’ve been up to in the last few days 🙂

So, with that said, here’s my latest last video about stationery on my Youtube channel:

And here are my most recent purchases as of this past week:


Fancy marble styled pencils! 😀


Pretty page flags for the book reviews!


Okay, so didn’t actually buy these but, one day when I have my own sensory room, it’s going to feature one of these pillows (probably the blue one!) because they are SUPER soft and definitely aesthetically pleasing and MADE for a sensory room!!!


Have I mentioned that I LOVE boxes?


Le side view of the box.


Inside view! I JUST got this today, so I don’t know what it will house just yet…. I’ll be thinking about it though!


Got this the LAST LAST time I went to Target. They’re sticky notes and page flags. I love them. (For obvious reasons, because those sayings are kickass and so true!)


A small stationery set this came with (the other I’m using for a present for Elisia!) that I’ll probably use to house more stickers and page flags.


The actual reason I went to Target was to get some deodorant. They didn’t have the one I actually use, but I decided to try this one out. We’ll see how it works. 🙂 Gotta live and learn after all!


Nargh, stationery!


I’m also a sucker for journals (and never finishing them). I could NOT pass this one up though!


It’s soooooo thick! It also has a white bookmarker, which is awesome and I didn’t realize until AFTER I took the pictures. I think this will become my next new journal for blogging and whatnot (AFTER I finish the rest OF THEM) GWAH!

I may also do like daily prompts and positive stuff inside of the above journal, too. 🙂

ALSO From other ADVENTURES of shopping that I’ve been holding out on you guys:


So, I have NOT actually bought this yet, but I’d like to in the future. (Making future plans <3) Because I’d like to continue expanding into the beautiful world of nail art and this is like a $10 set of doing that. :3 What do you guys think? Do you know of kits that are cheaper elsewhere?


I really, really like this top. 🙂 ❤


From Macy’s. My Mom actually wound up getting it for me but as I’ve still to clean my room, I haven’t gotten it just yet. I love the phrase though. 🙂


Me with the last of a hot coco! I felt pretty fabulous here! 🙂


I don’t think I actually showed you guys this, but it’s a fancy pink notebook that says “Shine Bright” that reflects rainbows in the light and then three bejeweled pens! (Of blue, pink and silver)


I liked this lamp at the store today 🙂


Also this lamp. ^^


I liked these shirts. 🙂



OH! And most of all:


NEW Pearly white nail polish.


NEW Pearly silver.


NEW bronze metal.


New purple with metallic gold overlay. I forget what it’s called.


A shiny mint green (from earlier this year)


My last nail polish game. Using a cool gray tone I got and then…


A rockstar pink color. I was disappointed that it’s a clear base rather than pink, but it still has sparkles!


From when Elisia and I went out, I tested a bunch of polishes at the store. I kept this look for like two weeks. I bought the deep red color and the dark gray. The faded pink is getting to me though (I want to get it next)


The other gray-ish color that I got a while back.




Bronze metal with a silver streak. 🙂


How the bronze metal looks on its own.

ANNNNND That’s all I got for this post!!

I hope that you enjoyed this! And I have to work on finals stuff and then I’m also writing a couple other posts tonight :3

I always forget how much I enjoy shopping/browsing until I go back out and find stuff. I’m a particular sucker for lamps, stationery, books, art stuff, boxes, lanterns, string lights, pretty artsy shirts, ties, coloring books….yeah. 🙂


Hope you guys are doing well! ❤ ❤ ❤