Because maybe if I start writing my paper here, where I’ve been able to successfully write posts, maybe then that’s a place to start and a way to bite back the procrastination and anxieties I am feeling.
My paper is 9 pages long (or it will be once it’s written). In the first page, I’ll have my polished introduction. I want my tea house project piece to be incorporated in nature and to have a safe space feeling to it. I likely will be adding skia (sp) accents to the piece, by having wall decals, a pale yellow color, positive messages and maybe some other added elements. I need to think where in nature my tea house would be located. In what season?
Then I have to apply the research. I need to give myself 45 minutes to review the material so that it’s fresh again and I can then have a better time writing it since right now with nothing in my head but fear and worry and paralysis of words, isn’t helping me out at all.
I want to get all the research part of it done tonight. I have to go to the stinkin’ dentist at 4:30p and to school afterwards to get some rental books back and extend one which of course I can only do in person and of which the bookstore closes at freakin’ 6:30p Gee, great. I feel like by now I’d rather just pay for them and deal with it later. *sigh*
I have to try and focus on what I can do. Gosh, before I dealt with OCD I could do and handle these kinds of assignments. Now…it’s just a mess.
I can likely wake up early tomorrow, but I have to stick to an early bedtime tonight. Being awake but barely at 4am won’t help me at all. I have to finish this paper. I have to write it. Grrrr you fingers and brain for putting up a fight!!
Let me try and write now, I’ll return in half an hour with an update. Gotta keep myself sane somehow.