Know Your Place

This concept has been on my mind over the weekend. And, I’ve tried writing this three or four times by now and I can’t work on my essay because I have a writing block, so, I need a place to start again, somewhere.

I’ve thought to myself, Raquel, Know. Your. Place.

There’s a heavy weight that comes with knowing your place. But it’s necessary, I think. At least, these are my current thoughts on the matter.

First, I’m not a licensed professional of any kind. I’m not a therapist, though I’d like to get my LCSW one day. But I’m still not a professional right now.

The words I write and the words that come out of my mouth are unasked for advice. Suggestions. Experience from being an expert at my own life and my own treatment and merely suggestions of what works for me, what may work for you and my encouragement for you to try those things.

However, I am not responsible for your actions. I am not you. I am only responsible for myself and the actions that I choose to do or not do. It’s my responsibility to write my own paper, pacing myself as best as I can doing so. That IS something I can control.

And, I can’t control you. How could I? I’m not you, after all.

I can only extend my welcome’s and be there for you. I can encourage you. I can give you advice and suggestions. I can be there for you. That’s all.

And I suppose in many ways, that IS enough.

If my words or suggestions aren’t helpful for you, ignore them. I mean, you could bite my head off too, but I wouldn’t suggest doing that.

I have to know my limits. My boundaries. My place. I’m a person on the Internet, with a blog that I hope creates a positive wave of effects. I want to be honest and open. I want to give advice on how to cope positively. I want to share what’s been beneficial to me and what has been told TO me from my own treatment providers, and if that sparks an idea in your mind that you can bring to your own therapist, that’s awesome. But remember, that my experience is simply my experience and what works for me may not work for you. Remember, I am not a professional. I just want to dispense my strength, my courage, my hopes, my positivity and my growing wellness. I only encourage you join me on this journey, wherever you may be in your own recovery.

I don’t deal with extensive depression anymore. The depression I’ve dealt with was only secondary. OCD is my main problem, but even then, I don’t find myself “fitting” into either category anymore. I’m not perpetually anxious, although I get anxious from the OCD at times. I’m not perpetually depressed, because my meds are working and it’s often when the OCD builds up that the depression than builds up too.

I can’t relate to everyone else’s experiences. I mean, can we even do that?

Sometimes I just want to talk to people. I want to reach out to people, because in a way, I’m reaching out to myself, too.

It sucks to feel helpless, but it’s another feeling that as humans we have around to experience. And life is about experiencing.

I want to help, but I have to know my place. I have to balance, my recovery and my health comes first, just as yours does in your life. I have to take care of myself first. That’s the only way I can truly help anyone else.

It’s not my job to be your therapist. I volunteer to be your cheerleader though. That, that I can do.

It can be overwhelming to see how deeply so many of us humans out there are struggling, I don’t pretend that I can help every single person out on this planet, like someone once posted, I am only one person. But I can team up with other people and together as a group we can make a difference. We may not be able to save everyone (and is that really our jobs anyway?) but maybe we can help save that one person who is inspired to save themselves. Maybe by helping one of you you’ll go on to help inspire others and help them, too. It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?

I may not be able to save everyone or to aid them in saving themselves, but if I help one person to make that difference, the possibilities of happiness and a bright future are endless from there.

I want this blog to be as positive a place as it can be. Because I need it to be, and maybe someone out there needs it, too. I will try to balance my honesty though, when I am struggling, because we all struggle sometimes and that IS okay. We wouldn’t be right in the head if we were pleasant and happy all the time.

Feelings are MEANT to be felt. Feelings are temporary. This crisis will pass. Moving through pain is healing.

Stay safe, my friends. ❤

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