Let me begin with a new drawing I recently did within the past week all with watercolors (feast your eyes!):
Now, this isn’t the early morning daily prompt post it was meant to be, but I’ll try and see if I can get out what I want to all within the span of the next 20 minutes, before I go out for a facial today to get my zits zapped! =] Wasn’t that just a pleasant image? 🙂
So, it’s been a while since I’ve properly asked, but, how are you doing? How is life treating you and how are things?
I’m still trying to understand for myself whether my last stint in scratching myself was a relapse (as I intended it to be) or a lapse. Maybe the specifics don’t matter so much, but I think knowing which one it is will determine if I scratch myself again in the near future (i.e. over the next few days or if I take the other road and don’t). I’d like to know if this is the time I start over again with day one self-harm free or if I continue going on my free of repetitive self-harm many months long. Or, does it matter, so much?
In part, this ‘relapse’ still feels like more of a lapse to me. I feel like I’m starting new and fresh again, with a new beginning, not like the world has crashed down all around me. I know that recovery is always the next step ahead, and I don’t feel that I’ve lost much (except for some skin cells!) It sorta feels like a little speck on the recovery journey. Like, oh yeah, at that point I wandered off into the blueberry bushes but then I wound up back on track again after some blueberries smushed on my face.
I’m not sure. I still require further introspection and self-understanding before I can make a conclusive remark about the situation.
On the brighter side, I have a facial today, yay! It’s also going to feel like 90s outside today!! Which is ridiculously awesome! =]
I also have the breakfast for hope tomorrow! And I’ve gotten the June listings for IOOV presentations, so I’m going to sign up for those when I get back home this afternoon. I’m also going to do my final award blog post and I think I will structure out the next week for myself.
Also, I told you guys about how I went to the library recently, right? Well, on top of the four books I got this time around, I’ve also ordered some from other MA libraries one about OCD and one about BPD and I think one other… I’m interested to read about BPD as some of my new friends here struggle with it and I’d like to better understand it and what they may be going through. ❤ ❤ ❤ Hooray to further understanding!
So yeah, I think a nice long time outside journaling and just thinking about life and what I want to do and organizing myself sounds like a relaxing, fun time that will be engaging and insightful and then I can update you guys and myself about what I conclude when I’m done! Also, I got a C- in my Japanese Architecture class–I’ll take it!!
Just checked my other grades, I got an A- in Infancy and Childhood! YAY! WOOT WOOT! AWESOME PERSON OVER HEREEEE! lmao
Okay, that’s enough out of me for one post! 😉 See you guys later on today! ❤ ❤
Have a snazzy swoop and woop le de loop day! =]