#Go Fix | Opening Our Mouths about Suicide Prevention Awareness

Sharing our stories is a powerful force of awakening. By sharing our stories we share with others how we, too, have felt alone, have felt vulnerable and have felt low. And by sharing our stories, we make it okay for other people to share theirs, to open their own mouths and to talk about the hard stuff rather than the fake pleasantries. By sharing our stories we unite with one another, feeling stronger and connected, able to love and be loved even more effectively. By sharing our stories we open ourselves up to other people’s kind blessings, their gratitude and their inspiration. We create a cycle, a wavelength, of love. And that love is necessary, no, sufficient, for preventing yet another loss of life fromΒ  suicide on this rock floating in space that we call Earth (or Midgard, for Thor fans ;)).

That’s the core for this new hashtag, #Go Fix. My dear and wonderfully loving and caring friend Imani, someone I’ve come to know within my short stay thus far on WordPress, has created this lovely hashtag for us to further expand the topic of mental health issues and suicide prevention awareness.

She wants us to start a revolution; a caring, loving revolution where we each, as human beings, look out for one another. Where we choose to be kinder, gentler, happier. Where we choose to spread love rather than hate, and that we reach out our hands to the strangers who feel their mouths are sewn shut from the horrors of depression and suicidal ideation. Let us, one by one, show each other that we are caring people, willing to open our souls and tell our stories of how we have survived, and are continuing to live, despite at one point in time being in that dark vortex. Or, for those who haven’t been suicidal, show too that you care, that you’re willing to have a conversation about suicide prevention, about mental health issues, and that you’re ready for society–all of our societies to change.

Let’s unite together and in one strong, unwavering voice, announce to break the silence. (Or fuck the silence, as I like to say). Let us spread the #Go Fix with our messages of strength, courage and hope.

Because life is worth living. And if you are feeling suicidal out there on this large, large rock of ours, I encourage you to reach out to someone and talk about how you are feeling. As Imani has suggested, I will too, that you can reach out to me if you need it. Send me an email from my contact page, I will be happy to chat with you and honored that you are showing your strength and courage.

Because suicide is a permanent action to a temporary crisis. Because everything in life changes. Because feelings are temporary. Because YOU are worthy of recovery and your life is worth living, and your story is worth sharing.

Take the day hour by hour, minute by minute. Practice your positive coping skills. Make a list of things you love and enjoy, make art, practice art therapy, build your #Recovery Home, attack the shit out of this #Go Fix by sharing your thoughts and using your voice. By being alive, you have a voice within you, stronger than you realize and more necessary than you are aware of for this discussion.

Spread awareness. Make a difference. We may not be able to stop the hate, the crime, the wars on this planet, yet if we each do our small part, we can make a powerful difference in just one person’s life. And the ripple effect from that? It could change the world.


With that prep out of the way, I’d like to share some artwork I did for this #Go Fix, as well as some quotes about suicide prevention I found via Google and my own Reasons to Live that I made up last year. (and hasn’t been updated since–not yet, at least).

My 64 Reasons to Live:

  1. Making art
  2. Having hope
  3. Reading fanfiction
  4. Watching movies (Marvel–i.e. Thor Ragnarok comes out in Nov. 2017, and I gotta stay alive to watch that motherfucker)
  5. Getting an education (Bachelor’s degree)
  6. Becoming a mental health therapist (Master’s LCSW)
  7. Being inspired and receiving hope from the stories of others who have struggled with mental illness and have come to manage their lives again
  8. I want to make it to the day where I am grateful that I am alive and that I am doing well. I want to live through this difficult time to make it to the day where I’m glad that I didn’t end the pain. Where I can say I’m here and better for it.
  9. Laughing with friends
  10. Going shopping

#Go Fix Photos

11. Hanging out with friends

12. Nature and all its beauty and glory

13. Coloring books

14. The sprinkles of rain

15. Morning dew on grass.

16. Drawing

17. Finding/Discovering more coping strategies

18. LIVING again

19. Getting better

20. Making progress.

(Apparently I have more reasons to live than I remembered! I wrote on the back of the cards too!!!!)

21. Helping others

22. Giving people compliments

23. Receiving compliments

24. Spontaneous conversations with strangers

25. Making new friends

26. Relating; CONNECTING with people

27. Watching birds

28. Seeing the stars at night

29. Laying out a blanket over grass on a sunny day and just being

30. Experiencing moments of calm, bliss and relation

89431-best-suicide-prevention-quotes

31. Coloring

32. Feeling emotions

33. Scented markers, pens, etc.

34. Candles ❀

35. Subway chocolate chip cookies

36. Ice cream πŸ™‚

37. Being creative

38. Inspiring other people

39. Having an impact on other people’s lives

40. Jamming to music (Shawn Mendes – Stitches)

41. Realizing how far you’ve come

42. Recognizing your value, importance and significance.

43. Who would wear the sparkly pants?

44. Being a positive glow for others who have yet to shine.

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45. Organizing

46. Fuzzy/fluffy socks

47. Colors / color combinations

48. Cute purchases

49. Stickers

50. Candy: Skittles, M&M’s, Reese’s Fast Break

51. Beef stew

52. Potatoes. All of them (well, not all)

53. Spreading mental health and suicide prevention awareness.

54. Finding a cause to be passionate about and devote time towards.

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55. Photography Club Exhibitions

56. Painted nails

57. Crafting bracelets

58. Beads. All of them

59. DeviantART community, friends, art

60. Joking with friends

61. Being Open to Learn; Willing to Listen

62. Early morning quiet before others have awoken

63. Video games

64. Childhood memories

prevention quote 2

My Thoughts:

It’s very, very interesting to have this opportunity to look back on the artwork I made, the notes I wrote, the reasons to live that I listed, and find so much of who I am today, of how I convey myself on this blog, there within the notes and art and papers.

I guess it just goes to show that the light within your true self, that may dim and get damaged as you go through difficult trials, can, under better circumstances, create a POWERFUL stream of light that extends beyond you and out into the galaxies.

I genuinely could not have imagined a year ago that I’d be sitting here in my room, at a lovely desk by the way, recording my long ago list of reasons to live and typing them up onto a place where I share so much of myself with the world around me.

I find it just fantastic and amazing that I’ve already begun to incorporate so many of my reasons to live into my life–maybe that’s what Recovery is truly all about. Again, it just goes to show how FAR we can travel from–from a darkness so toxic to a brightness so blindingly beautiful and hope hanging from the tree branches like apples. πŸ™‚


Finally, my drawing for #Go Fix:

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I knew I wanted to use a quote for this piece and do some colorful flowers and such in the background, leaving the majority of it blank white space. I got more into the swirls and dips than I thought I would, as it turns out, but I got myself to finish the floral atmosphere at the top and have the swirls surrounding all of the page.

The quote is something that I wrote on my DA account in a journal when I began to feel better, and chose that rather than self-harming or attempting suicide, I’d choose for that moment, to show myself kindness, compassion and self-love. Hence, the saying above!

I didn’t always like how this was turning out, but I like it more as a finished product. It is a beautiful piece with an even deeper meaning and memory behind it. And the #Go Fix is written all down below. πŸ™‚

I hope you all have enjoyed this post!!!! ❀ Keep holding on. ❀ ❀ ❀

Lastly, the slideshow of this work in progress:

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Stay safe, my friends! And spread the word about this mission wherever you go!!!! πŸ™‚

(I) Don’t have to be Superman (And Neither Do You)

You don’t have to be Superman,

(I) don’t have to be Superman,

(I) don’t have to hold the World in (my) hands,

(I’ve) already shown (you) that (I) can.

But you’re here, you’re here and you’re listening.

And it’s just you and me and these four walls,

And We are Only Human after all.

Rest (my) eyes now,

Take your hand,

Even heroes fall down

Now and then.

(I) can let it go.


Struggling is a part of life. I don’t have to be strong and mighty all the time, because in fact, within my struggles I am stronger than I could ever realize.

The same goes for you, too, reader.

Let’s put down our shields this evening, lay down our capes on the sandy shore, and bask in the glow of the setting sun, as the stars come out to greet us and we can sigh with relief and calm. Sometimes when we are too weary to stand, it’s okay for us to sit down.

Stay safe, and good luck out there.

Be sure to peek up at the stars tonight or the clouds passing by in the morning. ❀ ❀ ❀

Stationary Saturday

FUCK YEAH ALLITERATION!!

A more positive post, because that’s how we move on from the sullen and the gloomy here at Recovery to Wellness. We hide our dark posts will lighter ones. ^^’

Any who, I DID take pictures of the stuff I bought at Michael’s, and I intend to share it with you guys now.

Also, I’ve FINALLY been working on my #RecoveryHome, if I’m especially good I’ll have that updated for us all tomorrow. :3 I’ll have to make a note of it though. And I think I’ll do that Liebster award I was nominated for about a week ago…because I have this feeling I was nominated for something I just can’t remember what it was or from whom…. weird.

ONTO THE STATIONARY FOLKS! (what a bitch ass divider ;))

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Whoops it’s blurry!

Fuck me, it’s blurry. Ah well, basically this is the shot of this 95 piece scrapbooking KIT I got for $15. Which, in my defense, feels like AN AWESOME BARGAIN. Because normally scrapbook albums are like $20-30 and I got this baby for $15 WITH all the inserts inside, a bunch of stickers, cardstock, etc. FUCKING GENIUS.

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Come ON, this album cover just REEKS of RtW!!! I saw it from afar and was like ‘Yesssss, that is meeeee’ so I bought it! πŸ˜€

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  1. A little mini magnetic clipboard with notes! I feel like I could whip out this sucker in interviews or meetings and feel like such a BOSS.
  2. More notecards for self-care!! πŸ™‚
  3. Stickers!!!!
  4. Page flags
  5. Card stock!! Woot woot
  6. A year long inspiration journal with prompts about reasons to be happy, healthy, thoughtful and top 10 things to be grateful for, what you want to achieve that month, etc.

πŸ˜€

Okay, I’m done. πŸ™‚

On the Cusp of a Struggle

Imagine that when you’re struggling, you struggle

 

 

 

down here.

Now imagine how I’m feeling when I’m struggling

right here.

See the difference?

I’m calling this the “cusp of struggling”. I’m not all that new to this new form of struggling, I’ve been struggling like this for the duration of this summer. But it’s weird because part of me feels so ROCK SOLID in RECOVERY MODE, and yet, I’m still struggling. I just, don’t FEEL like I’m struggling. But, I am.

I don’t know, maybe it’s being home all day alone so my brains are out of order.

Maybe it’s ’cause I’ve officially relapsed in my vague term of ‘self-harm’ (i.e. not scratching myself).

Maybe it’s just me wanting to write a little bit. Because I certainly didn’t blog before I acted on my relapse, which sucks, so again, I can’t bullshit myself about it now either. I don’t know, maybe we can call it all of the above.

I haven’t been all that productive today, but am hoping the evening can pan out a little better. Sometimes when I listen to music it just charges the OCD into full swing. Unfortunately, before this, guess what I was doing?

Maybe it’s because I didn’t write a to do list today.

Maybe it’s from feeling a little bad for my wallet that I bought more stationary things (which is at least better than buying a stethoscope or sleeping pills for obvious reasons).

I don’t know, but it’s tough.

That’s all I really have for right now. Now it’s just time to study for stats, read a book, do some artwork, things like that.

Expect me to bury this post soon, too.

Hope you guys are doing better than my realization that I’m not as okay as I thought I was. 😦

BONUS Post

One more post before I poof for like 5 hours….

ONE. I had a dream last night where I had my first (and second, maybe third) girl kiss! *weeps* It was wonderful T_T

TWO. I changed my Firefox browser theme to lesbians kissing and a little rainbow πŸ˜€

THREE. I’ve been thinking about this since I got a comment about this blog’s layout, I’ve never showed you guys the full images behind the top and text based backgrounds.

I.e. They’re from photos I’ve taken.

The top (where you can see my watermark “Rocky Shores”) is a photo I submitted to Photography club at UMB for the Spring theme we had back in 2013, I think? (I’m quick posting after all)

Here it is:

Rocky 2

And the text based one is one I took of some fancy hydrangeas:

(one of my fave flowers)

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TA-FREAKIN-DA!

 

now, I reallllly gotta go.

Bye peeps!

(re-)Framing Friday

Alliteration is a bitch, I just want to start out this post by saying that truth. Lmao.

I’m coming up with my own fancy (why didn’t I think of that ‘f’ before?) Friday alliteration thingy for posts. Maybe if I’m especially good, I can make this more of a thing, each week!

Mainly today I’m starting this because the finale of a creepypasta I’ve been listening to came out narrated by Be.Busta yesterday and it is AWESOME and I think you all should go check it out πŸ˜‰ Especially if you’re having a hard time with life lately and you need a few hours long distraction. Creepypastas, they’re (what I’m telling you is) your best bet πŸ˜‰

Any who, I also want to share some fancy images that Chloe has reblogged on her blog before, and some other fun things (like glimpses into art I’ve done this week and my own general thoughts and some highlights and positive things). So yeah, let’s get started!

THE creepypasta: “My Cabin Getaway” (7 parts)


Music Share of the Week:

The Dear Hunter had released a whole album called “The Color Spectrum” which I recommend listening to, as each color has a different, unique sound to it and progresses one into the other. Here are a couple of the ones I like (I especially LOVE the green one)


Cute Google images of Inspiration and Positivity:

grounded - awesome

beautiful - insp.

love this

Possitive life


Glimpses of Art I have done this Week: (official posts will come this weekend)

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Therapy Lessons of the Week:

  • I’ve been duped by the OCD again, with over-responsibility. Now that I’m aware of it though, I can look out for when it comes up again in the future. Awareness is the first step.
  • I have more work to do on respecting other people’s Recovery journeys and where they are in being ready to get help. In other words, it’s appropriate for me to ask people if they are okay, and when I get nonverbal cues or verbal cues that they want to be left alone by my stranger-ness, then I have to Let. It. Go, Walk. Away. and Move. On.
  • By asking others if they are okay, I am acknowledging their existence and offering them help. It’s up to them if they take it or not and I have to respect that.
  • I am not other people. So, again, Walk. Away.
  • Giving out positive messages, blogging, writing articles are ways I am helping people. These are appropriate behaviors. Beyond this, it’s inappropriate. As I stated early on in this blog, I have to know my place.

What to Look Forward to from Me in the Next Week:

  1. 2 Book reviews. One on BPD and one on “The Intruders” (a novel)
  2. Me understanding Stats work. XD
  3. Art posts
  4. Positive messages and launching a community wide project in August about these.
  5. #RecoveryHome
  6. Daily Prompts
  7. Maybe the start of more alliteration days
  8. August beginning planner and my goals/dreams involved
  9. Life updates
  10. Teachable moments

This Friday’s Thoughtful Quote:

“Our repeated failure to fully act as we would wish must not discourage us. It is the sincere intention that is the essential thing, and this will in time release us from the bondage of habits which at present seem insurmountable” – Thomas Troward

From p. 140 of “The Pocket Book of Mindfulness”


And, now, I have to go hang out with friends today!! Hope you guys enjoyed this post, let me know what you thought of it, and I will see you all later tonight! ❀

 

Stay safe!!! ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Tired of my Bullshit | Accountability Exposure of Self-Harm

I wish I was writing anything else BUT this post, but I’m tired of my lapsing self-harm bullshit, so I’m putting my issues on blast because maybe then I’ll stay away from what’s doing me a negative solid.

I’d be happier knowing people are not going to read this post however, if that were the case, I could just not post it. And because I need some accountability in my favor, I feel that it’s time for me to put it out in the open, for SOMEONE to know more about what I’m going through, even if it isn’t frequent nowadays, still, this is my second lapse in two months and I’m just tired of this bullshit.

I’m not talking about scratching myself, which I’m not sure if that’d be better or not (note, that “better” is a loose term). This wasn’t even OCD based this time either.

I’d love to keep lying to myself but that didn’t work out great for me in the past.

And I really don’t want to act on this again in the future.

So, I’m posting here my notes that I’ve written in my blogging journal in a slideshow. One from June 21st when I openly admitted my problem, and one from today as my lapse occurred within the last 12 hours.

Any support will make me squeamish that you know such a personal (and something I find embarrassing) thing, but also appreciated for the accountability factor.

Maybe next time I feel like I’ll be lapsing, I can make a post addressing it before I act on it.

 

Without further stalling… here is my tightly knotted “secret”. (note: I have mentioned this on the blog before, and to my T however I find it extremely difficult to talk about so even just putting it here online is tough, but it’s necessary. Don’t be surprised if I then go on to “bury this post” by writing up other ones (even if I do need to write up other ones anyhow).

 

If you could acknowledge that you now are aware of this issue of mine, I’d hate it but also be grateful. Sometimes we just need other people to recognize our troubles. And from there, I hope, we can move forwards.

 

 

I’m Still Breathing

Staying Alive through a Crisis

There are now three songs I enjoy with the theme of ‘alive’:

  1. Goo Goo Dolls – So Alive
  2. Sia – Alive
  3. Shinedown – I’m Alive

The first two are particularly striking, although I’ll be discussing Sia’s song the most here. If you’ve never heard it, legasp, here is the link:

There are times where I listen to Sia’s song and appreciate that I have survived my darkest days regarding mental health issues. There are times where I listen to her song and smile at the strength I’ve used to get through those difficult times, and marvel at how I managed to make it through them, when I was so convinced I never would.

Recovery is a process in which I include my dark days. The days where I wasn’t sure I wanted to recover or get better or see the next day. That’s where the beginning of my recovery started–in the abyss, the vortex, the black hole, the white out. In the nothingness, still, there was something. There was me. And I made it through.

Now, there are still days where I wish I hadn’t. I call those moments Resentful Raquel. However, I also have days of Recovery Raquel, in which I’m proud to have survived and to be here, on the better side of days, where I can still achieve my dreams and my hopes and my wishes. Where I can still listen to awesome music and interact with a blessed, amazing community here on our little rock of the Internet. Where I can expand my sense of self and who I wish to love. It’s exciting, really, and I think sometimes it can be easy to forget that.

Especially if you have a dark cloud of mental illness shrouding over you.

So, you may ask, how did I make it through my crises?

A combination of tactics, is my best answer.

First, medication was necessary in my case. I was reluctant to go on medications, I can likely attribute that to the controversy and stigma surrounding medications to treat mental health issues. However, I was in my first hospitalization at the end of January 2015 and the start of February 2015 when I was convinced by a nurse on the unit to try out medications. The worst was already upon me, and not being on medications wasn’t helping my scenario (as I was in the hospital), and if it could help, why would I not try them? That’s the best of what I can remember her telling me. It had enough of an impact, regardless if I can’t remember her exact words, for me to drop my reluctance and go on medications, and for me to tell you about it now.

So I tried meds. And they didn’t help for a while, they may have made things worse actually, but I don’t know for sure. So I tried another brand of meds. And those helped. And then there were a few other trials, but eventually I got on the two medications I’m on today.

And, what I’ve been told repeatedly through the mental health community of professionals, is that medications are an aid to help me do the work I need to do with psychotherapy. Without medications, I’d continue to be emotionally dysregulated and going through several crises–which isn’t a cohesive environment for me to make gains in recovery. So, again, for myself, medications played an important role.

 

What else helped?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll continue to say it again: Finding something to hold onto. Whether it was physical (a stuffed animal) or metaphorical (my dreams for the future), I found things to hold on to. Reasons to live another day.

My suggestion would be to come up with reasons to live for yourself. They can be ANYthing – I had listed food and activities and friendships and more. In fact, I’ll likely share them with you guys in another post one day.

Also, writing positive things about your day in a journal can be helpful, too. Bonus points if you come up with different things each day, so it gets your brain thinking and you notice all the little stuff that makes you happy, even when life’s a bitch. πŸ™‚

Doing IOS (ink on skin) helped me a LOT, too. Drawing or writing on myself with pen really, really helped to get my attention focused back in the present moment, to distract me, to feel the touch and smell of the ink, to create something beautiful rather than something destructive or painful. To create something out of nothing. πŸ™‚

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Time. Getting better requires time to pass. It sucks, I know, and for a good few months I didn’t notice change in my outlook on life, but it was brewing, through the small steps. My dark days lasted for 3 months definitively and 6 months overall (including those first 3 months). But Recovery was brewing in my system from March 2015 on. That’s why I think and say my dark days were encompassed by my Recovery. They fit inside each other like those Russian doll sets. Each moment I could use to try one other positive coping mechanism rather than scratching myself was a victory. Each moment I could get through alive meant another day under my belt of survival.

And again, I didn’t think I’d actually make it through alive. I got through those first dark 3 months with the complete belief that I was going to kill myself at any moment in time. I was always planning my suicide and looking for “opportunities”. And the snow days killed me more inside as I kept missing therapy appointments–which I didn’t completely mind since it gave me more of a chance to die.

And while I may have been scratching myself during those three months, and while I did get two hospitalizations out of that time, I wasn’t always acting on my suicidal thoughts. Mainly because I felt there were problems with my plans or chances I’d be interrupted.

My point is, while I didn’t think I’d make it out alive, time continued to pass, and as it did my crises would too.

You see, a crisis is time limited. The more time you can buy yourself within that crisis, the better the chance you’ll make it through it unharmed (or at least, not dead). Another way to think about it is: Feelings are temporary.

When I couldn’t stand the thought of making it alive through another week, I thought about it as getting by the next hour, the next minute, the next few seconds. And working with seconds, that’s pretty good because seconds go by quick, and if I could hold on for a few seconds, I could make it to a few minutes, hours, days. It was a way of breaking down the complexity in a simpler fashion to something I could genuinely handle and cope with.

And so days turned into more days and then weeks and months. And through that, I kept getting better.

Hospitalizations were also very helpful for me. I’d go through a good range of emotions beforehand but I’m grateful to myself that I used the time in the hospital as best as I could, regardless if I was annoyed or depressed through it. I kept myself going to groups and trying to ask for help, and a lot of that experience now I use in my teachable moments series. Resentful Raquel has turned into Resourceful Raquel πŸ˜‰

 

I remember when my crises would be so, so very frequent, in those first three months. It was such a struggle to cope, because the smallest thing would set me off into a suicidal spiral. I often found myself sobbing on campus, sitting alone some place, incapable of moving, wanting to die. I was skipping classes left and right because I physically got stuck any time I stopped moving. I was calling crisis hotlines to talk to someone so I wouldn’t be finding myself in nearby bathroom stalls scratching myself or going through suicide rehearsals.

 

And yet, through the combination of steps I covered above, I made it through those hard times. My crises began tapering off by the summer of 2015, and one time when I texted my friend and my Mom that I was having a hard time and was going to take a bath, they freaked out because they thought I was going to kill myself–when in my mind, I was only going to take a bath and had NO thoughts about killing myself through that bathtub. It wasn’t even on my radar, AT ALL.

Another time, I went out of the house to the store to meet up with that same friend. My Mom was concerned that I’d crash my car and die, and again, I was like, “What? No. I’m just going to the store. I hadn’t even thought about that.”

These were signs that I was moving away from the identity I had crafted about myself being a suicidal blob.

Implementing positive coping strategies and proper self-expression through art aided me in the process of my recovery. Particularly, implementing positive coping strategies when I was feeling WELL, was a HUGE important note. As I was told in my third hospitalization that the key to using positive coping alternatives is to use them when you’re doing well, so that when you feel bad, you’re more likely to think of the positive coping alternatives you do when you’re well and turn to them. Because many of us may know that when we’re feeling bad, we have a harder time of thinking clearly and doing what may be more beneficial to us rather than getting a quick, temporary ‘fix’.

 

Another moment in July 2015, whenever I had heard stigmatizing comments about the OCD back in the spring of ’15, I would want to correct the person and then go kill myself. Well, in July I had heard a stigmatizing comment and wanted to go off and self-harm or do away with myself (but I didn’t).

And at another point in my recovery, months later, I would get angry at the comment, and NOT want to go kill myself. Fucking IMPROVEMENTS!

Kinda like when I was triggered on WP back in May this year from a comment and I only wanted to self-harm rather than kill myself, which again, is improvement.

Additionally, I’m far more capable of working through my more baby crises now than ever before. I tell myself I’ll go inpatient after I make it through X and Y appointments, and by the time those appointments are over, guess who’s all good again? So I tell myself the same comforting thought as I get ready for the next set of appointments.

 

Also, blogging and having this as an outlet and a busying task has been huge as well. Keeping myself busy and not allowing time for the OCD has been a great tool. As well as reading and implementing good coping skills into my life.

Lastly, I will end with a self-care card I’ve made for myself, at least that I wrote in that is.

This could be another suggestion for you to do, and I have done similar in the past. When you are feeling well, write yourself a note to when you are feeling unwell. And work on looking at that note each day, so that when you’re unwell, you can find it and read it. A caring self’s words to a hurting self.

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Front cover

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My notes above. Card #1 out of seven or six, I think.

 

The most important thing to remember is that you can and will make it out alive through your crises. And if you EVER have ANY doubt, reach out to someone. You are loved. You are cared for–more deeply than you realize. I care about you, and I believe that you, too, will get better.

 

Stay safe, ❀ ❀ ❀

 

Bi Pride + Lesbian Themed Scrapbook Page

I mean, they don’t necessarily have to be all lesbians either, but you get my drift. πŸ˜‰

So, I have officially–actually I did it a few days ago–created a lesbian themed scrapbook page–THREE in fact!!–and am ready now to share them with you guys!

I also made 3 bracelets today (’cause I finally got off my ass to do it!) about bi pride, using the flag’s colors so that’s snazzy too! Pictures to be included throughout this post, buahaha!

 

Also, as a general life update. My class actually got cancelled yesterday! I was quite happy. I wasn’t that ready for that quiz and still have more to review on it even now, but some parts make more sense to me now. :3

I’ve started reading my next book, and spent today pretty much just lounging around, doing art, listening to Youtube and napping. πŸ™‚ Kinda a lazy day with some bursts of activity.

Therapy went well on Monday, I have some updates on that that I’ll make during the rest of the week. And I just have to take a shower this evening and get this up and everything else will be all set!

 

Therefore, let’s get to the pictures! (Sorry for the blurriness ahead of time!!)

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ALL of these pages feature images I took off of Google!! Just so you know.

I did do some watercolor borders around the two images here–the middle one and the bisexual pride flag nails one (with more bi pride flag colors).

The little text reads:

I wanna wrap you up, wanna kiss your lips, I want to make you feel wanted.

I thought that was a cute saying and romantic so I included it and other cute quotes within the pages. πŸ™‚

I really love this one, I think it has to do with the sparkly background page. But it just feels full and complete and it’s SO adorable!!! πŸ™‚

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Moving on!

This one features lots more kissing couples!!! Bonus fact: I saw a cute couple from afar kissing at the train station on Monday morning, thinking it was two girls, but it turned out it was a boy and a girl, of which I was disappointed. I went from “awwww” (adorable) to “awh.” (disappointed). XD Just thought I’d share that! πŸ˜‰

I ran out of tape again doing these last two pages, so I had to get more creative and use my washi-tape for borders and the backs of pictures. My favorite picture is the one on the bottom middle, where I positioned it so the bokeh lights are seemingly drifting upwards from the kiss. And I wrote there “Love is Magic”.

And I LOVE cuddling, I was watching some more LGBTQA+ videos today and found out that the word for a friend who you cuddle with but don’t have any type of attraction beyond platonic is called a SQUISH! I love that. πŸ˜€ I’m a notorious SQUISH. I freakin’ love cuddling and am all about giving out hugs to peeps. Unless you don’t like it, of which I’ll be sad, but I can understand. I think it must be part cultural, as my Mom is originally from Peru and that’s how us Spanish families greet each other, with a hug and a kiss on the cheek!

Any who, my point is: I love cuddling.

And I just find this page MORE adorable. πŸ™‚

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Last page!! I still have some images leftover plus a bonus page I printed twice accidentally, but I’m saving those for another time. This one you can see how much I had to rely on the washi-tape :S

I have that awesome dragon/crescent moon symbol for bisexual pride (with the adjoining colors of course) and I really love the crescent moon design as a design in and of itself. I just think it’s snazzy. Plus mystical creatures are fantastic.

And yeah! πŸ˜€ That’s all for the scrapbook pages!!! Hope you enjoyed them. πŸ™‚

 

As for the bracelets, I’ll put them down below with a slideshow!

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They all feature the bi flag colors, and I even made a BUTTONS one!!! Woot woot! I probably will wait to add the buttons one to my arm until later this week, but I’ll definitely be wearing the others from here on out. πŸ™‚

Other than that….I think that’s about all for me!

I may try to include one last post tonight, if not, I’ll see you all on Thursday!! πŸ™‚

 

Stay safe, and be proud of yourselves!! ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

*sending you all cuddle baskets* πŸ˜‰

Around the Clock 2: A Word, or Three

Today’s Prompt $$ Clock

So, I made one post about the daily prompt, but it wasn’t the type of post I was initially going to make. And because I’m trying to find the poignant words to say here, I’m running out of MORE time that I do NOT have. So, let me just get a couple things out into this blogosphere.

First, the funeral went well, as well as funerals can go.

I finished my book and wrote up the handwritten notes about it. I’ll probably have the book review up on Tuesday this week. πŸ™‚ So you know.

I’ve decided to return another book I was going to read but just wasn’t getting into. So instead I’m turning back to novels and am currently going to start reading “The Intruders” by E.E. Richardson–yes, that decade old book I read before and am excited to read again and to review! πŸ™‚

I went and saw the dogs today, that was fun and swell! Took a great nap this afternoon, ahaha.

Unfortunately, I didn’t work on my Stats work early on like I wanted and imagined myself to do. I could have reviewed my notes earlier and worked on some made up problems, but I didn’t and now have to print out the review material we received just today, and work on that through this evening. Not exactly my best plan for a Sunday, but a result nonetheless. I hope next week I can do better. For now, I just have to move on and keep on writing this post without back tracking and deleting it. Here’s hoping! *fingers crossed*

 

I hate how the background music you’re listening to can really impact what you want to say in a blog (or any type of output) response. At least, when you can’t find a song that meshes right with you in that moment, that’s annoying.

I’d also like to quickly update ye all with some artwork, so here we go on that end too! After this, I’ll probably get to work (sigh) and maybe some reading/artwork tonight and see you guys again on Tuesday! *salutes to ye all until then*

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This is my snazzy new desk. Isn’t it lovely? I’ll show you guys later this week why it’s professional on top and a party on the bottom πŸ˜‰

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Some of my stationary has found a home in the inside drawer! πŸ˜€

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Sitting on a bench in a little city park! Still plowing through this book (although now it’s finished!) And lovely water is important, too. Gotta stay hydrated!

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A snazzy photo of where I was sitting and the view there!

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A little park before Simmons College!

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Me!!! Wearing an AWESOME necklace, and waiting before my IOOV presentation last week. πŸ™‚

Blarghedy blargh page break here.

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Here’s Nova stealing some of my rice!! He’s so adorable! ❀ ❀ ❀

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Turning away so he can eat his little treat.

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Just inspecting, Mommy! πŸ˜‰

xxxx I love Nova. So glad my Mom became more open to the idea of having him!! ❀ ❀ ❀ We got him in February of this year.

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The famous kissing couple WIP I’ve been saying I’m working on!

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Thought Imani would find this interesting!

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Decorative items of summer theme that came with a huge platter of yummy cookies.

And, there’s more too, but I’ll make more specific posts about those in the future week to come!! I can’t believe it’s the end of July, so soon! :O

If I have time tonight I’ll return for a post but I should be getting to work soon…ugh. I’ll try to get my brain working up words again during my absence!

 

Stay safe, peeps! ❀ ❀ ❀

I used RAIGN’s Don’t Let Me Go for this post’s background music. :3