Steps to take to End Your Living Nightmare:
*Disclaimer: Some of these steps will require your own take and version of them, since what works for me may not work for you and individuality and all that jazz. *sigh* However, let this be a stepping stone in the right direction that you are heading in order to end your living nightmare. Also, good on you for finding this. End disclaimer.*
Step 1. Recognize your living nightmare for what it is: A shitty situation.
For instance, since Wednesday of this week my living nightmare began. That Wednesday felt like a great day to kill myself. I recognized that I wanted to kill myself, I acknowledged that I wanted to kill myself, and I proceeded forwards by NOT killing myself. That’s a very crucial step. The not being dead part.
So I recognized I was in a shitty, depressive scenario. Did I still want to hurt myself? Fuck yeah. But Recovery, man, just doesn’t allow for that much fuckery.
Onto Step 2.
Step 2. Be self-aware if Venting helps or harms you.
For instance, I cannot vent for the life of me. Or the death of me. Or both. Whichever makes the most sense here. 😉
Any time I vent it just leaves me more depressed and more angry than I was before. Brooding in the shadows just causes me to feel even more somber and lonely than I was to start with. So, listening to sad songs or drawing sad things or talking about how sad I am? Nah, doesn’t help me in the slightest, not anymore, at least. (which sucks)
However, if venting helps YOU and you know that from experience…Do go and vent. Love the vent. BE the vent. Pretty soon in an alternate universe, you’ll just become an air conditioner. (Get it? :D)
Step 3. Listen to, engage in, look at or read (include other senses that help you here) things that you tend to enjoy when you’re living your Dream life rather than your Nightmare Version.
Now, this is going to be tricky. Because, especially if the depression asshole is involved, you’re likely going to not want to do the things that will help you get out of the asshole that is depression.
However, it’s very, very important that you do it anyway. OR Recognize your limits, be kind and accepting of yourself for them and continue forwards with self-care. Again, whichever works for you.
For the former, for instance, today I tried putting on some nice smelly perfume that brightens me up and I put on some bubble gum scented sparkles on the backs of my hands. I also took a nap (be careful with this one) because I slept awfully last night. Then I watched some good Youtube videos and listened to some scary stories and began a new watercolor kissing couple piece. This helped me to really focus my attention away from my mind and my issues onto something else I could focus on and that was of a neutral or excitable stimulus.
I’ve also been able to read a little of a book today, so that is great, and taking a shower was snazzy and helpful too.
On Wednesday I bought some stationary that I could later on appreciate even if I couldn’t appreciate it as 100% of me as normal in that moment.
Even doing this positive type of blogging is a good step for me, because I’m getting my brain to think in a different way than where I’ve been at mentally, otherwise.
Now, for recognizing your limits, and practicing good self-care… Today I could recognize my limits that I wouldn’t go about my day in a structured fashion and achieve all that I may have wanted to achieve, however, whereas normally I would wait until I got the motivation to take a shower, I suddenly got up and did it in the middle of my watercolor piece instead. That sudden change of pace helped me in particular. And now I can either continue working on the piece or get back into some much needed reading or writing. And good self-care involved not letting myself get into a situation where I could be at risk to myself. So that’s also good!
Step 4. Share positivity with someone, receive love and support from a fellow friend.
Try sharing some videos back and forth with a friend online, or call them up or meet up with them or whatever works out best for you. Get some much needed love and support from someone who can take care of you during your rough patch, just as you often (if you do) for them. 🙂
Step 5. Change the way you’re thinking.
I shared this quote from an OCD-I survey the other day, but I’ll share it again because it’s important. Consider whether or not you take this idea into consideration when you are feeling upset.
When I want to feel MORE positive emotion, I change the way I’m thinking.
When I want to feel LESS negative emotion, I change the way I’m thinking.
If you can ask yourself these two statements and become more aware of it each time you’re upset, you may be able to use them as the stepping stone to changing how you’re looking or reacting to a situation, so that it aligns more with your values and eventually to feeling better.
Step 6. Challenge yourself to begin a task that you feel is daunting for you.
It doesn’t matter if you finish the task or not, just put yourself forward and try. You may be surprised with what you get. Try going into the scenario with no expectations, no expectations to complete the task or to get involved in it, that way if you wind up completing or getting involved with it, you’ll win yourself some bonus gold stars beyond just the action of getting started. 🙂
Step 7. Practice some mindfulness or grounding techniques.
Something that will root you into the present moment. Listen to music that is positive and enjoyable 100% in the moment. Just let your mind wander yet pay attention and focus onto the song and what it is saying, the instruments involved, etc. Let your mind paint pictures to the music. Let yourself go in the flow of the song, and see what happens–whether you start singing, dancing or whatever. Just enjoy it, for those few seconds that you can, open up your soul and let the experience take you. ❤
(For instance, I’ve been listening to this song that I discovered from a blogger friend:
Step 8. Gather your Recovery Strength because it’s going to take work and perseverance to get through this shitty situation.
I know that gathering your strength when you feel you have none left is difficult beyond words. However, in order to get yourself to feeling some bliss again, you’ve got to stand up to the demons inside your mind, tell them to fuck off in a strong, adamant voice and proceed to scurry off to the path of Recovery. It’s the hardest thing you’ll do, and it’ll be worth it.
Step 9. Read this blog or other POSITIVE blogs that speak out to you. Get involved in your community, online or off.
Go through the daily prompts and read some of the posts other people have written. Or volunteer a few hours in your community’s soup kitchen or reading to kids or help someone carry their groceries. Make little gratitude cards for your loved ones. Write a comment or two on the Internet that is positive and appreciative. Make some positive blog posts, even if you don’t feel totally up to it. Gather what strength and perseverance and resiliency that you can, or blog some cute images of cats or dogs or positive quotes. 🙂 Fill up a journal with positive quotes. Watch your favorite TV show. Have a family or a friend outing night. Journal about your values and what changes you can make in your life to be happier or at least feel less shittier than you feel now.
Step 10. Give yourself the credit you deserve for ALL your efforts, regardless of their outcome.
Sometimes shitty situations just happen to us. We just have to sail through it, even when it’s dark and it feels like someone has stolen our flashlight. Eventually, the storm will fade, and you don’t have to harm yourself in the meantime (if you can <3) until you get there. Try as many positive coping strategies before you hurt yourself, or get further assistance from a therapist or friend or hotline volunteer, or go inpatient if you need to.
Have faith that you can make it out of this hard time, even if part of you doesn’t want you to get through it. Hold onto your Dreams and your Dream Life and your Recovery Home and work through each moment to the best of your abilities, and cheer yourself on for having the ability to do so.
Reach out to someone and let them know how you are feeling. You don’t have to go through it alone. ❤ ❤
I hope this has been helpful, or gets you thinking in any manner. ❤
You are not alone. Someone out here in this world, in this blogosphere cares about you. You will get through this. You will Recover. Recovery is Possible. You can make it.
I believe in you.
Stay safe!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤