BONUS Post

One more post before I poof for like 5 hours….

ONE. I had a dream last night where I had my first (and second, maybe third) girl kiss! *weeps* It was wonderful T_T

TWO. I changed my Firefox browser theme to lesbians kissing and a little rainbow 😀

THREE. I’ve been thinking about this since I got a comment about this blog’s layout, I’ve never showed you guys the full images behind the top and text based backgrounds.

I.e. They’re from photos I’ve taken.

The top (where you can see my watermark “Rocky Shores”) is a photo I submitted to Photography club at UMB for the Spring theme we had back in 2013, I think? (I’m quick posting after all)

Here it is:

Rocky 2

And the text based one is one I took of some fancy hydrangeas:

(one of my fave flowers)

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TA-FREAKIN-DA!

 

now, I reallllly gotta go.

Bye peeps!

(re-)Framing Friday

Alliteration is a bitch, I just want to start out this post by saying that truth. Lmao.

I’m coming up with my own fancy (why didn’t I think of that ‘f’ before?) Friday alliteration thingy for posts. Maybe if I’m especially good, I can make this more of a thing, each week!

Mainly today I’m starting this because the finale of a creepypasta I’ve been listening to came out narrated by Be.Busta yesterday and it is AWESOME and I think you all should go check it out 😉 Especially if you’re having a hard time with life lately and you need a few hours long distraction. Creepypastas, they’re (what I’m telling you is) your best bet 😉

Any who, I also want to share some fancy images that Chloe has reblogged on her blog before, and some other fun things (like glimpses into art I’ve done this week and my own general thoughts and some highlights and positive things). So yeah, let’s get started!

THE creepypasta: “My Cabin Getaway” (7 parts)


Music Share of the Week:

The Dear Hunter had released a whole album called “The Color Spectrum” which I recommend listening to, as each color has a different, unique sound to it and progresses one into the other. Here are a couple of the ones I like (I especially LOVE the green one)


Cute Google images of Inspiration and Positivity:

grounded - awesome

beautiful - insp.

love this

Possitive life


Glimpses of Art I have done this Week: (official posts will come this weekend)

IMG_00002806

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Therapy Lessons of the Week:

  • I’ve been duped by the OCD again, with over-responsibility. Now that I’m aware of it though, I can look out for when it comes up again in the future. Awareness is the first step.
  • I have more work to do on respecting other people’s Recovery journeys and where they are in being ready to get help. In other words, it’s appropriate for me to ask people if they are okay, and when I get nonverbal cues or verbal cues that they want to be left alone by my stranger-ness, then I have to Let. It. Go, Walk. Away. and Move. On.
  • By asking others if they are okay, I am acknowledging their existence and offering them help. It’s up to them if they take it or not and I have to respect that.
  • I am not other people. So, again, Walk. Away.
  • Giving out positive messages, blogging, writing articles are ways I am helping people. These are appropriate behaviors. Beyond this, it’s inappropriate. As I stated early on in this blog, I have to know my place.

What to Look Forward to from Me in the Next Week:

  1. 2 Book reviews. One on BPD and one on “The Intruders” (a novel)
  2. Me understanding Stats work. XD
  3. Art posts
  4. Positive messages and launching a community wide project in August about these.
  5. #RecoveryHome
  6. Daily Prompts
  7. Maybe the start of more alliteration days
  8. August beginning planner and my goals/dreams involved
  9. Life updates
  10. Teachable moments

This Friday’s Thoughtful Quote:

“Our repeated failure to fully act as we would wish must not discourage us. It is the sincere intention that is the essential thing, and this will in time release us from the bondage of habits which at present seem insurmountable” – Thomas Troward

From p. 140 of “The Pocket Book of Mindfulness”


And, now, I have to go hang out with friends today!! Hope you guys enjoyed this post, let me know what you thought of it, and I will see you all later tonight! ❤

 

Stay safe!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Tired of my Bullshit | Accountability Exposure of Self-Harm

I wish I was writing anything else BUT this post, but I’m tired of my lapsing self-harm bullshit, so I’m putting my issues on blast because maybe then I’ll stay away from what’s doing me a negative solid.

I’d be happier knowing people are not going to read this post however, if that were the case, I could just not post it. And because I need some accountability in my favor, I feel that it’s time for me to put it out in the open, for SOMEONE to know more about what I’m going through, even if it isn’t frequent nowadays, still, this is my second lapse in two months and I’m just tired of this bullshit.

I’m not talking about scratching myself, which I’m not sure if that’d be better or not (note, that “better” is a loose term). This wasn’t even OCD based this time either.

I’d love to keep lying to myself but that didn’t work out great for me in the past.

And I really don’t want to act on this again in the future.

So, I’m posting here my notes that I’ve written in my blogging journal in a slideshow. One from June 21st when I openly admitted my problem, and one from today as my lapse occurred within the last 12 hours.

Any support will make me squeamish that you know such a personal (and something I find embarrassing) thing, but also appreciated for the accountability factor.

Maybe next time I feel like I’ll be lapsing, I can make a post addressing it before I act on it.

 

Without further stalling… here is my tightly knotted “secret”. (note: I have mentioned this on the blog before, and to my T however I find it extremely difficult to talk about so even just putting it here online is tough, but it’s necessary. Don’t be surprised if I then go on to “bury this post” by writing up other ones (even if I do need to write up other ones anyhow).

 

If you could acknowledge that you now are aware of this issue of mine, I’d hate it but also be grateful. Sometimes we just need other people to recognize our troubles. And from there, I hope, we can move forwards.