Sitting on the Corner of Relapse Blvd

Today’s Prompt ~ Candle

Crashing – hit a wall

Right now I need a miracle.

Stranded – reaching out,

I call your name but you’re not around.

I need ya, I need ya, I need ya right now.

So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me down.

I think I’m losing my mind now.

It’s in my head,

Darling I hope,

That you’ll be here when I need you the most.

So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me down.

Sitting on the corner of Relapse Boulevard, the moonbeams flicker between the red maple leaves, shining on the crooked street sign with its bend in the center. The words are almost invincible, cutting into my innards with a force so strong that my insides roil with disgust.

I’ve been thinking too much,

I’ve been thinking too much,

Help me.

Entrusted in the shadows, my dark gray hoodie hides my face from the surrounding candlelight. The lights flicker in the soft breeze, captured in their clear glass containers, the colorful swirls of wax nestled deeply in its clutches.


The scents of purity and innocence waft towards my nostrils, but as I gaze down at the glaringly red scratches, I ponder if I’m allowed to smell such sweetness.

I’ve got demons

Running around in my head

And they feed on

Insecurities I have

Set me free from my jealousy,

Won’t you exorcise my mind?

Won’t you exorcise my mind?

I want to be free,

As I’ll ever be.

Help me exorcise my mind!

Help me exorcise my mind!

Time clicks away on the pocket watch within my hands, even though the watch is incapable of working, always stuck on the same time.


The click, click, click echoes in the cool evening, as I begin to raise my hazel eyes.

I gaze up slowly, just as another thick beam of light passes over me.

“What is that?” my voice is small, constricted from the emotional pain I’ve been rocking in for days. But it is my voice, my story unfolding, and my lighthouse, shining down upon me.


Running out of breath but I

I got stamina.

Whoa oh, seeing I’ve got another mountain to climb

But I, I got stamina.

Don’t give up,

I won’t give up.

Don’t give up.

No, no, no.

Don’t give up,

I won’t give up.

Don’t give up.

No, no, no.

I’m free to be the greatest I’m alive,

I’m free to be the greatest here tonight.

Music begins to encircle my form, dancing blue and green, purple and pink around me. It lifts me up, invisible hands pulling me upwards. I stand, choosing to stand, and I am smiling.

The light trails from my form to my Recovery Home.

I begin the trek.

On the way, I consider how it isn’t an easy journey, and that I may fall and fall again in the near future. Yet I am climbing, regardless, passing by Lapse Circle and leaving Kill Yourself Road far behind.

I have people who are cheering for me–I see their spirits clapping and laughing with good cheer at the edges of my vision. They love me and they care about me.

There are people from this blogging world, and from school, and classes–people who want to see me go on to do the great things I have flowing through my veins. Their love warps around me in warmth, white light shining as my soul sparkles like a rainbow from my skin.

My wounds are being cared for, kisses placed upon them by the future love of my life. I smile in wonder and emotion at the touch, loving and kind, compassionate and sweet. She’s going to be the best thing for me, I just know it.

My shoes are broken, worn and tired, but I am climbing, climbing ever still.

My words erupt from my parting lips, flowing into the air with sprinkles of badassery.

I pass the stationary section of my town, the Barnes and Noble, the Michael’s. It takes all the power within me to walk past that Michael’s, and not into it.

And I’m hanging on tight

Til the whole thing ends

She sets the city on fire.

Burns like a million lighters

I’m blowing up

I couldn’t get much higher

She sets, she sets the city on fire.

As of right now, I am making a promise of safety that I will stay safe for the next 5 minutes. I made this same promise on Wednesday, and it lasted for 9 hours. I will make it once again and honor myself, my recovery and all of you who are rooting for me.

I will make it inside my Recovery Home once again. It’s going to take quite a bit of work, but I’ll make it there.

I can do this.

Recovery is possible.

I am a survivor radiating badassery.

I will choose to recover.

I will get through this semester. I will be okay again.

Thank you all for your support. ❤ ❤ ❤

Stay safe.