On the curb,
The dark green grass budding from the rich, thick soil
Near where her pink blouse meets the tips of them.
She breathes iiiiiiinnnn……
She breathes ooooouuuuuuuttttt……
There is a shadow to her left,
And a stranger to her right.
The shadow whispers to her,
That she is worthless, that she is not needed, that she is nothing.
The stranger-they hiss that she is better off dead,
That suicide is her answer, her pull to the edge.
That self-injury is her calling,
Her code to feeling “better”.
It is her brain that sits by her side–either one.
Her brain that breathes life into her soul,
That produces artwork so magical
She rides upon her unicorn named Elisia
And trots down the golden pathway of
Her sparkling frosted forest.
It is her brain that tells her
To hurt herself.
It is her brain that whispers to her
To tell the townspeople in her life
To just let her go.
But it is her soul that
Shines with sparkles and a rainbow,
That convinces her to stay alive.
It is her soul that shines brightly,
Like the lighthouse upon her home,
That says to her,
This too shall pass.
It is her soul that beckons the light forward,
That expels it to the rest of the world,
So that others, too, may find their way.
It is her voice that echoes in the evening sky,
Where faith and trust dance together
Like fireflies in the setting sun.
It is her voice that while crumbling in emotional pain,
Rises higher than the stars,
Shining brighter than the moon,
Spreading hope to all those who wander, lost.
It is her voice that may tremble,
Her eyes that may be teary,
And her feet that carry her forwards,
Time and time again.
She is stronger than she feels,
Stronger than she thinks,
Stronger than she realizes.
She is mighty and she is strong.
Her soul glimmers with a brighter future,
A journey through heaven for which
She will be a witness to.
But for the moment,
For the moment,
The fire by her fallen form flickers.
And her brain sits beside her every side,
In the form of creatures who wish to do her harm.
For the moment,
She is in dire need of aid.
She needs to be reminded
How important her life is,
How desperately she is needed,
Again and again and again.
Because her brain beats her.
Her brain abuses her light.
And now she feels as though
Taking each and every breath
Is a sin and a waste of space.
Every breath brings tearing pain through
A heart she wishes would stop beating,
And skin that lays red and raw,
Having been pulled apart from its rightful place.
Now she wants the pain.
She wants to feel the sting and the electricity through
She wants to have the scars as reminders,
She wants to do damage.
For what purpose?
She doesn’t dare think it through.
She pushes away the thoughts
By the product of more pain.
Lies fling from her tongue
As the warmer days unusually roll in,
And she stands with one sleeve up,
One sleeve down,
Tempted to show her markings
But only for a certain set of eyes.
It is urgent,
Her soul beckons of her,
To ask for help.
But her brain mutters not.
The situation is not yet dire.
And it is with this ambivalence
That she so breathes,
Her eyes gaze up to the clouds above,
Seeking some signal from the universe,
That she may utilize the strength within her soul
To stand up to her enemies,
And walk away from her brain.
But for now,
She breathes iiiiiiinnnnn…..
And dares not to