The Perspective Crisis Part I | Article

“Can suicide really be a choice if it’s the only choice available? How expanded or contracted our perception becomes, impacts the choices that we make.”

 

The quote above is from Mark Henick’s TEDx Toronto talk titled “Why we choose suicide.” He explains that perception is a constricting and expanding view by which we see the world through our biological, psychological and societal factors.

 

He poses his startling question towards the end of his talk, but it was so poignant and my writer’s block so thick, that I decided to start with it. He continues to pose a scenario for the viewer: “Imagine you stayed there, stuck in that narrow, dark place. My perception had become constricted, darkened and collapsed. I felt like an asthmatic that had lost his glasses in a hurricane.”

 

Mark goes on to explain his brushes with suicidal actions and his struggle with depression in his own life, and how important it is that we all start having the conversation about mental health conditions and suicide. He believes, as well as I, that these conversations are too important to not be spoken about, whether or not we are “ready” or “comfortable” talking about them–they need to be brought into the light and out of the shadows.

 

So, with that, I would like to discuss perspective–because it matters and it is important.

 

Google defines perspective as a “point of view or a particular way of regarding something.” To me, in my life, perspective is the ability to see beyond a current moment. Before my mental health conditions made my perspective constricted, I would be able to see ahead in my life, years ahead and have goals and dreams that I wanted to accomplish.

 

When the depression hit me that skill of perspective dissipated. At its worst, I recall not being able to answer what I wanted to do or planned to do that given day, a week, a month, a year later. I didn’t have perspective: the future was a blank slate and the past didn’t exist either. It was like being shrouded in a blanket of nothingness.

 

Even now, two years later from when that slip of perspective occurred, I do not operate with a larger sense of perspective. Nowadays I am able to have my natural explanation of what I want to do over the summer, into next semester, after college, onto graduate school. The depth of those intricacies is for another article, however. But I have the ability to perceive a year’s worth of time. I have vague ideas of other dreams like writing books or making projects come to life that I want to get done during my life, yet they aren’t clearly defined or detailed yet.

 

Now, if you asked me what I’d be doing five years from now? Ten years?

 

I still cannot comprehend that amount of time. For instance, I’m trying to convince my family for us to get another dog. My previous dog, which we had for twelve years, passed away in the summer of 2015 and while I’ve had two hamsters in the last year (one that’s still alive now); they’re not quite the same as a dog. Granted, I’m glad to have any kind of living creature in the household, but I have a special love and admiration for a dog.

 

So when my family argues that a dog is a lifelong commitment–I don’t see it. I am distinctly aware of working with the present moment, the next day, a week, a month and a solid year. Beyond that, I cannot yet think of it as a lifelong commitment. They just do not exist for me. There is nothing there for me to look towards.

 

Part of this, I believe, is because there is a deluded part of myself that believes in the message of the mental health conditions I live with that I am destined one day to die by suicide. There are many faults and flaws with that logic, but I digress.

 

And again, this works both ways–for the past and the future. If you asked me on a day in which I had a constricted perspective about my childhood, I wouldn’t be able to put myself in that reflective mind state to answer your question.

 

I’ll admit this self-reflection makes me feel as though I ought to be more alarmed than I am. Regardless, I believe there is more to be said about perspective than can be articulated in just one article. So I hope that you will pick up the next issue when I discuss more about this idea of perspective and branch into what future plans I do have for myself as well as coping strategies.


*From now until August 2017 I will no longer be including my full name in the publishing of these articles on my blog, as my new job may threaten my safety if the people I work with/for can find me, my things or personal details about myself. So, be expecting my about me section to change soon too, as I want to re-write it.

**This piece is old. Written February 22nd and 24th 2017.

***I have a new article ready and up for you guys soon.

 

Also, sorry for my absence. My new article will explain the last week, at least.

 

Stay safe, peeps. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

36 thoughts on “The Perspective Crisis Part I | Article

  1. I was very happy to discover this great site. I want to to thank you for your time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely savored every little bit of it and i also have you bookmarked to check out new stuff in your web site.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey there!

      Thanks so much!!! I really appreciate your encouragement, feedback and the fact that you’ll be back and around again in the future–hooray!! I hope you’re doing well and keep on reading as this blog continues forwards growing bigger, brighter and smarter. 😉🥰🤗

      🎈🎨🎊

      Like

    • Hey there, whoever you happen to be! Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it 🙂 And thank you so much for the compliments! They’ve brought a smile to my face today. 😀 I’ve been blogging on my WordPress (this site) since May 2016, although I used online journals since my birth on deviantART (if you want to check that out, there are links in my About Me section), so, quite a while! (I’ve been on DA since 2010)

      I actually am using some old footage from 2015 of my budding ideas for this would be blog, Youtube channel and DA group that I’m mixing in with my current 2018 thoughts for the mission and goal of it, so eventually I’ll have that video up and running, too! That will likely fall into the playlist called “The Origin Stories” (if you happen to want to check it out some day).

      Thanks again for everything!!
      Hope to hear from you again some time. ❤

      Like

    • Hey there! Welcome to RecoverytoWellness! Glad that you happened across these lovely waters and that you’re deciding to stick around! 🙂 That’s really, really awesome. If you happen to tweet about it, and you haven’t already, you could also shout me out there or follow me on there if you’re so inclined. My username is ‘Recovery Raquel’. 🙂

      And thanks for the compliments! I use my own photography for the backgrounds. 🙂 I might be updating/changing them sometime soon, depends if I can find some other great new shots to spice things up! Thank you for stopping by!! ❤

      Like

    • Aww, thank you so much!! I really appreciate this; it’s been a long while (about 6 months at least) since I’ve networked and hopped on other people’s blogs so I could really use the extra support in returning to that some day soon, so, thank you for sharing it out there in part on my behalf hehe. ❤ I really do need to blog more…we'll see how that goes. I look forward to learning more about you if you come back again to comment! Thanks again. ❤

      Like

    • Ohhh, my gosh, this makes soooo much more sense! I thought Humble was a website, not a location! Ahaha, totally explains the Google search results I got now XD

      Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it and your overall loveliness. Welcome and I hope you continue to enjoy my musings. 🙂 Hello back from MA! ❤

      Like

    • Oooof, the relatability I could manage to foster at another point in time of my life from this statement. I’m glad it’s helping ease the burden of it and I hope that nowadays you’re doing so much better and finding the light within all the darkness. It’s there, if you search for it endlessly. It will be there. And if you continue to struggle, ask someone for help and they’ll show you and carry it out for you until you can hold onto it for yourself.

      Sending you all the best.
      🖤🖤🔥

      Like

    • Yay! I’m glad to hear that!!

      Mmm, I have articles and personal experiences with psychiatric facilities more generally but none so much for substance use disorders rehab facilities. I’m sure there are some excellent, welcoming and warming discussions or blogs out there for those types of rehabs though!! A mixture of the good and the bad from there and so forth. I’d keep looking around this blogging world as well as others or following the Recovery Posse hashtag on Twitter!! Best of luck xx

      Like

    • Ooooof, I am sure that you are capable of just as much potential, hard work, effort and time!! You can do this. If it’s something you’re passionate about and you’re open to learning, educating and improving, than the rest will follow given time and practice and patience.

      If you ever did manage to write it, and you’re still out there, I’d love to read and interact with it.
      You’ve got this.
      Sending light.
      🌞🌈🌠

      Like

    • Thank you for commenting!! I really appreciate it and yes, I was often very honest and transparent, optimistic and self-actualizing back in the day when I was at uni and writing these articles. I don’t think I let myself feel how much I really miss it and it’s trickled into how I don’t blog as much or as consistently today, which I hope to alter very, very soon. So double thanks for stirring up the pot so maybe I can become better and improve where I left off this blog at, by dusting it off and moving forwards in a different way. 😎😘🤗

      Like

  2. Hello, you used to write wonderful, but the last few posts have been kinda boring… I miss your tremendous writings. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!”Partake of some of life’s sweet pleasures. And yes, get comfortable with yourself.” by Oprah Winfrey.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey there! I appreciate your honesty and the great feedback!! Thanks for sharing that with me 😁 I don’t entirely remember the context of when this comment was written but I still appreciate it and hope to go forwards with my blog in a new, refreshed manner and with some more direction and guidance than where I left it off so many years ago. I’m definitely in SO MUCH of a better place and I think my viewpoint on recovery and artwork could add a hefty tone to matters most don’t like to talk about even to this day. I’m working at the moment on a return post as well as a few others behind the scenes, so once I can get that done, I’ll be off to better places even more than ever before. I appreciate your and everyone else’s patience with me over all these years!! I can’t wait to explore and find new terrain again in the future and if there’s ever any feedback critical or positive that you or others would like to add, just leave it in a comment!!

      Wishing you and everyone else all the best.
      😘🤩🤎🤎

      Like

    • Thank youuuuuuuu!!!!

      That is the dream and the aim at the end of the day, isn’t it?
      I am honored and hope my posts can continue to make a difference grand or small in the lives of whomever come across them.

      Thank you for the feedback.
      🧡🧡🧡

      Like

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