“Blood Wounds” | [OLD] Book Review

Blood Wounds by Susan Beth Pfeffer

So, this is an OLD DRAFT of a book review I literally was meant to put up in August 2016. Therefore because I don’t seem to have any notes on this subject matter, I’m going based off my memory and what quotes I chose from this novel. Bear with me and watch out, probably some spoilers ahead!


SUMMARY:

*TRIGGER WARNING* Cutting mentioned in this book.

Our main character is Willow in this fictional story. A girl who has two step-sisters and a step-father, who soon learns that her biological father has murdered his wife and two young girls and that he is on the run to find Willow and kill her too. It’s never explained what caused him to do these murders or what happened in him to have led to them, but I thought this was a pretty excellent book about finding one’s family ties, learning about one’s self and their identity, Willow expressing her need for help by the end of the book (she’s been cutting to self-soothe), and an interesting take on what it must be like for family members of people who are murderers.


RECOMMENDATION SCORE:

4/5 Father killers


QUOTES:

  1. “I was alone, as I was so many nights, surrounded by my family but alone with my thoughts” – p. 18

Relatable quote here, and I feel this could apply to other fanfic ideas I have about characters going through shit in life. ๐Ÿ™‚ (Nicely said, Raquel, nicely said)

2. “‘I’ll ask my mother,’ I said, knowing that I wouldn’t. I’d learned a long time ago not to ask for the things I couldn’t have” 0 p.21

I definitely thought that was weird and sigh worthy when I read this book.

Also, there was no trigger warning about the cutting in this book, which kind of irritated me. I mean a little bit could be expected from the title, but I distinctly remember the scene where she first cuts herself, she goes to the basement (and I’m thinking okay, maybe it’s a nice basement), goes to the radiator (that’s a little odd) and then cuts herself with something she hid there (and I was like Well THAT escalated quickly!). So yeah. I didn’t want to quote it here for obvious reasons but uh, I pretty much did anyways. ๐Ÿ˜› I was also telling Elisa about this book not long ago so the details are still a bit fresh in my mind. Still a good book though! But that’s why it’s only 4/5.

3. “I felt as though the whole house had been picked up by a tornado, that it and everything I’d ever known was twisting out of the solar system” 0 p. 34

4. “Because that’s the kind of family I come from. We’re very polite. Even when people die on our doorsteps, we remember to say please and thank you and excuse me” – p. 69

5. “‘Don’t tell me what means nothing!’ I shouted. ‘You don’t know. You just ask me to pretend all the time. Well, I won’t. I’m through pretending. They were my family. They’re a part of me'” 0 p. 76

This is when Willow wants to go visit her biological father’s home state to learn more about him and what happened and if she’s anything like the monster he was. Essentially.

 

6. “‘And whose fault is that? Who kept me from them?'” – p. 77

7. “‘You got me away. I’m alive because you got me away. Let me say goodbye to my sisters. They didn’t have you. They didn’t get away'” – p, 78

Ouch.

8. “If I didn’t know him, if I didn’t know what had become of him, would I have stared into those eyes and thought about the pain they could inflict? Would I have said ‘those are the eyes of a killer,’ or would I simply have thought he was squinting, uncomfortable posing for a picture?” – p, 91

Willow is looking at her biological father’s yearbook photo.

9. “‘I guess I don’t belong here any more than I belong at home'” – p. 94

Oh, Willow….

10. “‘Without rules, we’d run around fighting each other, not caring what anybody thinks. Sometimes rules can seem arbitrary, and sometimes unfair, but they give us our boundaries, and we need to respect them'” 0 p. 102

11. “I couldn’t bring myself to define Budge, to put a label on him. Because whatever he was, I was his daughter, and whether I loved him or not, whether I even knew him or not, he was a part of me, so entwined with my body and my soul that he could never be disentangled” – p. 106

12. “We’re a happy family, I said to myself, closing the yearbook and piling it on top of the others. We have to be. Because if I didn’t have that to believe in, then I had nothing left at all” – p. 107

13. “I’d spent so much of my life claiming things were fine when they weren’t that it surprised me to hear the truth come from my mouth” – p. 108

Remember what FINE stands for right? Fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. You’re welcome.

14. “We were a family of secrets. I’d kept my share. One more wouldn’t hurt” – p. 135

15. “‘I do what I need to. I made it through yesterday and I’m alive today'” – p. 170-171

One of Willow’s siblings saying how they make it through living on their own, relatively homeless, from what I can vaguely remember.

16. “‘But I’m not ready for you to be my sister. I’m sorry, Willa, but I’m not.’ ‘I’m not Sweetbriar. You can’t just discard me'” 0 p. 193

Oh yes! From one of her step-sisters, and Willow stands up for herself and it was a great moment! ๐Ÿ™‚

17. “‘This razorblade is my friend, my family. It’s what I turn to when I’m scared you won’t love me anymore'” – p. 240

18. “‘I couldn’t ask! I cut because I couldn’t ask for anything'” – p. 240

19. “‘They didn’t know anything. That’s why I cut. So no one would know anything'” 0 p. 241

This is when Willow comes clean to her parents and asks for help to see a therapist to stop her cutting.

20. “‘Mom? Not for Budge. For me.’ ‘For you. For me. For all of us” – p. 245

*Sniffle* This reminds me of MCU Loki. XD

And yeah, that’s about all!!

Don’t be to surprised if my future writing style for book reviews changes. Maybe it’s because I had nothing written down for this one but I feel a change may be in order…maybe I can even make a logo for them! Oooo. ๐Ÿ™‚

Any who, I hope you enjoyed. I have about 10 other ones to keep putting out…. Oh vie.

 

The Photographic Journey

Photo Challenge #2 – Wanderlust


Hey everyone! Back for another photography sharing round ๐Ÿ™‚ So while I took photos of doggos on Sunday, I also got some new photos of some purple blooming trees, and would like to share some of those photos here in contrast to some travel photos I took nearly three years ago in Peru, South America. ๐Ÿ™‚

Let’s jump in!

Photos of the fancy tree:

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Some of the fancy larger individual images (because they’re extra nice and typical of my photography so you should all see it big and large) ๐Ÿ™‚

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YAY FLOWERS!

And now for some highlights from Peru:

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Phew! That was a LOT!

As you can probably tell, when it comes to travel (something I’m actually not big on, I know, big surprise, since pretty much every human being on earth wants to travel) I don’t like doing the obvious photographs, I like the little things and noticing them and getting artistic photos in. ๐Ÿ™‚ A lot of my work I try to make things thought provoking or have ideas for creative writing behind it or can make it out of the photograph.

Any who though, that’s it from me! Now to work on MORE POSTS!

๐Ÿ™‚

12. Recovery A – Z Challenge. D is for Desire #blog4MH

Check out more of this A – Z challenge in my #blog4mh category at the bottom of my blog page! ๐Ÿ™‚ Or, search for it! ๐Ÿ˜€


So, we’ve made it to letter D! For this, I decided to do D for Desire.

Desire is defined by Google as:

a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

I believe it’s important to have desire in our recovery journeys. Without desire, we miss out on having the fuel that powers forth our many dreams. Therefore, with desire we can likely achieve more of what we want to do and make larger strides in our accomplishments which helps to boost our mood and overall recovery.

Does that bullshit sound about right? XD

I kid, I kid. I genuinely think desire is important though. It’s important to want to have more than what we currently have, especially when we believe and are aware that we deserve to have more and better in our lives.

For me, desire is coming out in a few different ways in my recovery.

For one, I have the desire to write lots of fanfiction. Hehehe, really though, wanting to write my stories and knowing that they’re particularly special because I’m the writer behind them inspires me to keep going in this life so that I can fulfill and finish them the way they were meant to be. (Which also means I have multiple projects ongoing).

I also have the desire to write books in my future. That is something I want to explore more of, and to create artwork books and workbook’s and such. ๐Ÿ™‚

I also have the desire to make #RecoveryHome and Recovery Restoration a thing.

I have a desire for reading books, and just LOVE when I get to go to the library and pull out like ten books to read for the next few weeks. ๐Ÿ˜€

I have a desire for me to make it to my better days again, and I really want to achieve this. I’ve also been thinking of recovery not as sustained good days with handling and managing bad days, but that each moment where I’m okay is a recovery moment, and that by collecting these good moments I am rebuilding my recovery journey. Because based on moments, I have a lot more of those than I have sustained chronological recovery time.

And my therapy has been helping me again and my desire to not be a hypocrite has kept me safe even when I’ve had struggles, hard times and urges lately.

My desire for a doggo is also helping me, too. Andย  I finally get to see some doggos this weekend, hooray! The week could not have gone by any slower! Eugh.

I have desires to make art that also keep me going, keep me busy and keep me engaged.

I have a desire for stationery and shopping in general (hehe) and a desire to listen to more and new music (particularly finding bands on my own that I’d enjoy).

 

That’s about all I’ve got for Desire! I hope you enjoyed this and I hope this piece stirs up some of your own desires for your recovery journey and what you may want out of life. ๐Ÿ™‚ โค โค โค

11. I Don’t have to Fight Alone – SADIM Day #5 #blog4MH

Welcome to day #5 of SADIM! If you’d like to see other posts about SADIM, check out the category folder I’ve made for it all the way at the bottom of my blog! Thanks everyone! ๐Ÿ™‚

Song Choice:

On My Own by Ashes Remain

Video:

Chosen lyrics:

There’s gotta be another way out
I’ve been stuck in a cage with my doubt
I’ve tried forever getting out on my own.

Bring me out
Come and find me in the dark now
Everyday by myself I’m breaking down
I don’t wanna fight alone anymore
Bring me out
From the prison of my own pride
My God,
I need a hope I can’t deny
In the end I’m realizing I was never meant to fight on my own.

I don’t wanna be incomplete
I remember what you said to me
I don’t have to fight alone

Relation to these lyrics:

Another band I recently found this week, this is the first song I heard by them and from what I can gather, they’re a slightly religious band. I say slightly because the next song has some religious undertones but I don’t find it so prominent that it’s obvious, for me I’m able to just ignore it. Any who though, I liked the aesthetic of this lyric video (album art and the video art itself helps me to decide whether I’ll be interested in the song) and I liked the message behind it as well. It reminds me that in this battle of mental health we are not on our own, and we are not alone. It reminds me that I’m not just one individual going through this, that the people around me are going through it too. So that’s cool.

And I like the idea that there’s hope involved in this piece, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

Honorable Mention:

Here for a Reason by Ashes Remain

Video:

Chosen lyrics:

“You’re not forgotten
You’re not alone
You think you’re worthless, but you’re worth it

Every time that you wake up breathing
Every night when you close your eyes
Every day that your heart keeps beating
There’s purpose for your life
So don’t give up
Don’t lay down
Just hold on
Don’t quit now
Every breath that you take has meaning
You are here for a reason

Relation to these lyrics:

I listened to this song recently when I was dealing with some difficult times with the doggo situation, and it really helped to calm me down and keep things into perspective. It helped me a lot to problem solve, so I had to mention it here, too, of course. ๐Ÿ™‚

Again, slight undertones of religion within the song itself but I just ignore it. You could think of it as the universe being personified too, if that helps you.

There’s also this song that I just like:

There’s a couple of other songs by them that I’m still dipping my toes into, but for now, these are the main two I want to promote! ๐Ÿ™‚

And of course, the emoticon:

๐Ÿ’ฎ๐Ÿ’ฎ๐Ÿ’ฎ = flowers!