16. Recovery A to Z Challenge. E is for Expectations – #Blog4MH

I am back with another post! I meant to do this post Saturday, but as it turned out, my parents and I stayed out later than expected. :3 We got to see some doggos though, although I didn’t feel any particular ‘click’ with them. They were definitely cute and adorable but the trip wore on me. Which is fitting for this post!

If you would like to read more of this challenge from me, feel free to search through or look through the #blog4MH category on my page 🙂

Now, let’s get started!


E is for Expectations

Google defines expectation as:

a belief that someone will or should achieve something.

[Cue: I went to check twitter to see what was up and then I wound up getting disappointed and wrote my 14th post. So… yeah.]

Next day! And I am STILL not ready to tackle this post! GAH!

Which, maybe is more fitting than I am expecting….

Sometimes in our recovery journeys we have to lower or adjust our expectations. Sometimes we set our expectations too high and they are not achievable for us.

I know for myself that I tend to have a habit of reaching for the mountains when I can barely handle the climb itself. That is, I tend to set my expectations too high, or, maybe worse I set them to the standard of what I could normally have achieved without having any mental health conditions.

For me now, that reality is wavering. Now, it’s up to me and those around me to adjust my expectations to what I can actually achieve given the struggles and mayhem I go through.

I’m still far from good at it, though, and yet one day I think I’ll get better at it. For instance, before I used to be able to cram out a paper under an hour but if I don’t have it outlined nowadays, I’ll sit with anxiety and doubt that I can get it done longer than what it would take me to just write the piece out.

That’s why I find outlining and timing myself to be the best route to take–I will give myself a time limit say 15 minutes for one paragraph and my goal is to achieve that by said time. I often get it under it, even!

Additionally, I need to remind myself to be more forgiving (which you may just see in the next post!). I basically need to cut myself more slack! I make a lot of victories and accomplishments each day, and getting hung up on the ‘should’s’ of the days is damaging on one end and silly on another.

This also came into practice on Saturday. When I saw the little doggos at that event (after we finally arrived after much traffic and then confusion and snide remarks) it’s like all my homework I’ve been avoiding just came and smacked me in the face. All of the responsibilities and expectations became more real than ever before and I couldn’t run away from them. All of the doubt started to erode into my brain and I realized how inept I was at conversing with the adoption agency–preferring to just pet the doggos themselves.

In reality, it wasn’t so bad. But my perception was off. I didn’t want to continue being out after that, but I had to, I had already made plans for it and agreed upon it and we were already there anyways.

What I needed then was time. Time to let the thoughts run away from me and even time to discuss what had happened briefly to my parent that way I could let it go further than I was able to on my own.

My expectations were too high and then I had to adjust them. In the end, we agreed that Pepsi (a Chihuahua and dachshund mix) was too much like Bayya and we’d like a more medium sized doggo.

I want one that’s cuddly and my parents want one that can also be left alone for a while. It’s a balancing act that I’m not sure we’ll manage to find, but hey, there are a few more events happening in the future. 🙂 We’ll find ourselves a doggo. And I’ll get myself through the summer.

It will all work out. I’ve just got to believe in that.

 

Thank you for reading!

See, even this worked out, too! 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s