Freedom within Resignation

I’m feeling depressed. My nails are atrociously long so it makes it difficult to type or text, but tomorrow I will cut them and tomorrow I’ll have a nice, long, proper shower before I do laundry and go to my appointments (psychiatrist & therapist).

I was just released today from a sixteen day inpatient stay.

Don’t get me wrong, it feels relaxing and wonderful to be out in the world again, but I’m just sad, still. I’m sad and I’m tired and I’m resigned. I’m disappointed to be returning back to my life. I feel zapped from all the positivity and pro-recovery that was Raquel back in inpatient. Being back home is being back to mildly isolated from the world surrounding me.

I’m sad and there’s not much negative action I can do about it (not that I want to) and I’m resigned because there’s not much negative action I can do about it and I’m sad because I’m resigned because I can’t do anything about it. Maybe I will look into my coping box next to help me, as well as go to bed soon.

I just, wanted to say hello again. This isn’t exactly all that I wanted to say, but it’s all I can really grapple with at the moment.

I’m just sad. And I’m free and resigned to it.

Maybe I will cry myself to sleep.

I have positive action plans, I will update again later tomorrow.

 

Love you guys.

❤ ❤ ❤