A Letter to Suicidality: Shut the Fuck Up

Dear Suicidality,

You come in many forms. You have the ability to affect ANYONE in the world. You make people grieve, you take away the lives of those who have so much impact in this world, you make people mourn, you take away the fact that life will and DOES get better, you make me want to hurt myself, you make me feel pain and you create so much more pain in your destructive path.

Dear Suicidality,

You do not discriminate. You will impact anyone and everyone. Any person with low or high socioeconomic status. Any celebrity or ordinary civilian. Any person black, white, Asian, Hispanic. Any person child, teenager, young adult, older adult, elderly. Any person of any gender. Minorities, majorities. People are killed off by you who pass me by on the street with a smile on their face. People are killed off by you who are so optimistic, who are so filled with joy when the pain isn’t overbearing, who are filled with life, until you come into play. People are killed off by you when you slide into their brains. When you become more than just a passing thought, when you seem to become a viable option–the ONLY option there appears to be. People are killed off by you because you plant dirty, ugly seeds into their minds and taint their hearts. People who were once sparkling and shiny become what they believe to be dark shadows, ghosts of their former selves, a hopeless cause.

You make them think they are worthless, that they don’t matter, that there’s no purpose for them. You make people think they have to suffer in silence. You make people think that no one cares about them. That the girl at the cash register is not touched by your kind spirit, that the compliment you gave the bus driver won’t change their day, that the causes you help volunteer at won’t need you so you might as well be gone.

You are cruel, Suicidality, you are cruel. You distort our minds and those around us are left wondering why we died.

You hide our pain behind blankets of saddened smiles. You hide our pain when we are begging for help but are too afraid of the stigma to show it. You hide our pain when society tells us that we are “weak” when in actuality, in REALITY, we are STRONGER than we think and we are STRONGER than we feel.

Because we are WARRIORS. We are SURVIVORS. We face every day that comes to us with the bravery that few else possess.

Cancer’s one thing, but mental health struggles is a whole other matter.

So, why, Suicidality, do we not talk about you? Why does this society shove you into a corner, thinking that we’re “selfish”, that we’ve “committed” an act of “cowardice”, that we deserve to be “silenced”, that we are “nothing”, that we have “no place in this world if we’re to just bring pain onto those around us”?

Well, Suicidality, society is WRONG.

None of our warriors “commits” suicide. Suicide is not a crime. Suicide is an act, a choice to act. Society is wrong to share the explicit details of how we lost yet another life to suicide. Because copycat suicides can occur–and we need to better protect those of us survivors out there that are vulnerable. Because there are evil people in the world who will make suicide a game, and we need to heighten our defense’s to combat their bullshittery.

Because YOU are wrong, Suicidality.

Because there IS HOPE.

Because RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE.

Because IT GETS BETTER.

Because suicide ENDS the chances for life to ever get better. And it WILL get better.

Because just as there are many options in the store to buy socks–patterned socks, colored socks, knee high socks, little socks–there are many options in life, too.

Because NO ONE deserves to suffer in silence.

Because it’s UP TO US to break the stigma. To end the silence. To save lives.

Because you don’t have to die by suicide. It is NOT how your story ends.

Because we mourn each and every life that gets taken by suicide. Celebrity or not. Named or not. Known or unknown. We feel the losses. We feel the hurt. We feel the pain. And we aspire to do better, get better and help better. We aspire to heal and to provide light in the darkness. We aspire to be together, not separate and alone.

Because the conversation does not end here. It goes on and on, fighting for a space in the spotlight, away from the shadows, no longer ashamed, no longer hidden, because only in shame and silence will suicide be perpetuated. Only in shame and silence will mental health conditions continue to overtake people’s lives.

Because we’re here, in this community, to make a difference.

And it all starts with you.

You have a choice, now. Which one will you make?

 


To those who are suffering with suicidality in the USA, call 1800 273 TALK. Text START to 741 741. Or email me here, or tweet at me.

There ARE resources available. I highly encourage you, before you take your own life and have no ability to change your mind, to call a friend, a hotline and go to the nearest emergency room for a brief inpatient stay. From someone who just spent a month in this process, I can tell you that today, right now, I’m glad to be alive. Please, give yourself this opportunity to feel the same, too.

Please share this post. Spread the word. Talk about suicide prevention. Because Suicidality needs to be told to shut the fuck up, and there are ways to do so.

For resources worldwide to hotlines, check out this page: International Association for Suicide Prevention

For resources at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: AFSP Resources

To all those we lost this year to suicide, this is in your honor. Including all those names we know of and those we have no connection to. In the loss of life to suicide, we are always connected. You were warriors until the very end. You fought for life for so very long, I don’t agree with what you did, but I understand it. I’ve been there, too. I’m glad to be alive, today.

For more posts on suicide prevention, check out my blog’s archive. As well as music for mental health. You will find Day #2 has a tribute, unbeknownst at the time, to Linkin Park.

Choose life, you guys. It takes work, and you can get better again.

 

Stay safe. ❤ ❤ ❤