This interlude is brought to you by: Struggle City.
Featuring but not limited to:
As is the tradition for this month’s assignment, I will be featuring the chosen black&white photograph for submission #6 at the end of this post. Until then, bear with me as I need to vent, sort through my thoughts and come up with some form of a game plan. Because, I really, really, really need it right now.
Initially I started this post at about 8:30p EST.
It’s now almost 10p, and it’s safe to say I have NOT been working on it for over an hour. Instead, I played with Mokeys, with Galaxy (my hamster), watched as Mokeys babysat Galaxy in his ball and played with Mokeys some more, got some new candy from my Mom and had my Mom come home from work to begin with.
All, of course, instead of doing some of my homework.
I can be fair–this coursework is really starting to kill me now. Mainly my lack of ability to focus and all or nothing thinking is proving to be more and more difficult to manage and try to overcome.
It’s not impossible–not by a long shot–it just FEELS impossible.
What I need to do?
I need to give myself more time. I need to give myself the space and the place in my mind to thrive and do the best that I can and accept that sometimes that best I can do is all I can really offer to begin with.
I need to not cram everything into this last week and a half because I may have more minutes, seconds and hours like these–the ones where I can’t focus, can’t concentrate, miss my “opportunity window”, etc. I have to come up with a way to tackle what I can when I can, when I’m optimally at my best, without shoving too much too far into the distant future and then having TOO much to do all at once (by this I mean I need to either do the majority of the textbook reading this week plus the quizzes or do the same for the project or mix it up a bit–I’d prefer to just have one thing left to do for next week, namely the project, but we’ll see how it all goes).
I’m setting these really high expectations for myself that are causing me to crumble because I can’t live up to them. The point then is not to not try but rather adjust my thoughts and emotions–while I also tackle the thing I’m most afraid of: the homework. The note-taking, the quiz, the reading, the documentaries, etc.
It can be done. It can be done. It can be done. I need to smarten up with how I choose to tackle it.
But for now, it’s evening, nearly 10p, and I need my sleep.
So I’ll unpack my candies and hopefully not pull at all tonight. The last thing? Today’s photograph: I could have done a little more for this shoot, as much as I could have done more homework today, but this is what I got:
Thank you again for reading. ❤ ❤ ❤
PS I did get a letter from my friend Diary today, which was delightful. 🙂