IT’S BEEN A WHILE & My Rules

DailyDecemberBlogging THUMB - 12.1.17

It may or may not have been a week or two since my last blog post, but I will say that quality over quantity ran out…ran through? WHAT IS THE ENGLISH?!

I am just pit-pit-petering out to do this blog post, so we won’t be here long, to be frank.

I just decided one day that….I can stop.

I can break my own rules. And I have a LOT of rules, apparently. I’m Sheldon Cooper’s gender-bent version in real life.

I make rules like:

  1. If I want to do some creative writing I can’t do it on paper with a pen because I “should” type it up instead
  2. If I do some creative writing on paper it takes me over a month before I ever get close to typing it up
  3. I push off my accomplishments for the day until the next day or longer so that I can savor that accomplishment not now but soon (I don’t mind this one too much)
  4. I can’t make a blog post unless I have all my thoughts sorted and in order
  5. And apparently if I have already pre-written my work in a notebook for said blog post, if the journal is on the floor I won’t look at it and decide TODAY IS THE DAY FOR THE BLOG POST
  6. I procrastinate a lot. MASTER PROCRASTINATOR
  7. If I don’t carry my things when I go to school, not only will my backpack be unbearably heavy (I pack for class and coping) but when I get home and my stuff is away I won’t pull it out to do my homework (but if I carry it it’s past the “out and about” rule and I have to just “lift it from the pile” rule) I hope that makes sense.
  8. I use my floor for piles more than my table-tops
  9. If something isn’t in front of my face or I don’t do it at the moment I think about it, I will forget it. (see #2 and why I haven’t texted my friends in a couple of months).
  10. I can’t sit on my desk chair because I have a couple of papers on it and I shouldn’t be moving the papers even though I did it just now and I forgot how comfy this chair was (and how nice it is to stretch my legs)
  11. I have to type up my presentation shit rather than write it down when I both have the ability to write it down and have the supplies to do so
  12. When people mention topics within other topics I have to answer all the questions because it annoys me when someone refuses to answer one of my questions within a topic of another topic (i.e. “I’m having a hard time with the soap tonight. It’s going to rain tomorrow.” Me: “That sucks, what’s wrong with the soap? And is it? What time?” Them: “Two.” Me: *FUUUUUUUUU)
  13. I have to wait until inspiration strikes me before I do something (like a new drawing, a coloring, a blog post)
  14. I want my output to be perfect so I’ll put shit off until it’s late or I’ve disappeared for a few weeks so that I can STILL make that original output that’s perfect even though perfection doesn’t exist and I could write a two line update if I wanted because something is better than nothing.
  15. I don’t know how I feel about showing all sides of me on the Internet, the good, the bad, the ugly. But I strive to vent and share and inspire, hopefully
  16. I forget how much writing helps me (creatively and bloggingly)
  17. If I don’t write a Youtube comment when I think of it mid-video I won’t go back to write it
  18. I hate having to double comment something on a Youtube video
  19. I wish I made more time for juggling and uploading all of my creative outlets to the Internet 😦
  20. I won’t start a new project until I’ve finished old ones.
  21. I don’t finish old projects.
  22. I want more views and more so, attention and interaction on my Youtube channel, but I also want to stay a small creator unnoticed and unbothered by other people’s nagging opinions of me and what I should be doing or shouldn’t be doing. Fuck.
  23. I should upload creative outlets on a different daily basis to keep myself up in good habits and getting out what I’d like to while also being organized
  24. I could do this (above) AND I CAN BREAK MY OWN RULES
  25. Why do I have these rules??

Sooooooo, yeah, that list says a LOT about me. I’m glad we adventured together to the end of this post where I don’t really have an answer to my questions, but a declaration of awareness instead.

I can make my rules and I can break my rules. It’s really just a reflection of patterns of behavior and I don’t have to be soooooo anally retentive about them. It may even be liberating to not be. 🙂

So, I made it through this post, and I’ll be uploading it accordingly. I need to clean my room OH AND ONE OTHER RULE:

26. I have to finish filming my room tour before I can clean/reorganize anything because reasons.

REASONS THAT DON’T MAKE ANY SENSE! FUUUUUUU

Also I did two things today:

  1. I edited a video (took me fucking two hours) here:

2. I made this Canva Merry Christmas thumb because I want to send photos of it from my phone around the holidays 🙂

I just read this all out to my Mom, who is laying on my bed like “Draw me like one of your French girls”

😀 That is all.

Oh and the thumb!

❤ ❤ ❤

Merry Christmas BLOG Sender THUMB = 12.21.17

In Which I make a Very, Very short post

DailyDecemberBlogging THUMB - 12.1.17

I’m tired.

It’s been almost a long day. Mainly, just outside excursions to the psychiatrist and the grocery store (I had a very, very full dinner plus ICE CREAM for dessert later in the evening) and having just taken my meds about an hour ago and the late evening has got me all sorts of tired. 🙂

I considered not making a blog post for today, too. I did the bare minimum for photos 😛 Maybe tomorrow will be a better photography day (and hopefully early in the day).

Hoping to do more artwork this week. 🙂

Maybe I can get through some older videos, too.

Any who, that’s it on my end. Hope you peeps are doing well! ❤ ❤ ❤

Of Newly Edited Videos

DailyDecemberBlogging THUMB - 12.1.17

2 days left.

2 days left to make videos every day and upload every day until I can stop doing it, PHEW!

I’d say that doing these challenges really gets the gears in my head moving because I have to continuously think up NEW and improving content for all the different (three) platforms I’m working with. Which, really, is a pretty good thing.

I like how it feels to juggle around these self-imposed challenges. I am getting curious-er and curious-er about what it’d be like to have a DAY OFF though, ahaha. It does help me though as I realize more and more each day HOW MANY things I want to continue including and incorporating into my life (AKA reading books, reading fanfiction, various art forms, filling in daily writing prompts and workbooks) that at the moment I haven’t made much progress in but each day and each moment I grow closer and closer to MAKING PROGRESS.

For instance, I had a glass and spoon in my room for a solid week and each day I would put off the accomplishment of putting it away (into the sink downstairs) as I grew closer and closer to doing so. Then there was a second glass and I put that one away, and then finally I picked myself up by the boot straps and decided IT WAS THE DAY.

🙂

Any other thoughts I’ve had for today have kinda dissipated.

So, with that said, it’s bedtime. My body is sore and wants to rest, very, very much.

Good night, peeps!!

❤ ❤ ❤

PS I totes got this cute little notepad for “Badass ideas” and a little coloring book from a friend for Secret Santa today 🙂 I also made 5 stationery packs and gave them away to strangers. (plus 2 cards). Very tired. Beep!

A Quest of Wonder

DailyDecemberBlogging THUMB - 12.1.17

In the moment that I find the need to pee again (a side effect I believe I’m getting from one of my newer med changes) I embark on the quest for wonderment for this post.

Mainly, I wonder when quantity overrides the need for quality.

For instance, my voyages through:

  1. Filming every day for a week (does this also include uploading or not?)
  2. Photographing every day for (as long as I can, ideally through the end of the year)
  3. Blogging every day in December

Have got me wondering. I think for the filming every day, like, technically I used my cushion room post yesterday but I *did* film today so even if I skip an upload day it doesn’t really count? Maybe?

I lied. It counts. So I rectified the situation and edited my video lmao and now it’s all nice and uploaded, although I’m unhappy with the thumbnail and at the same time can’t be bothered to fix it (at least not right now, I’m tired) :P.

I don’t even remember what I was talking about. I guess, just, when does keeping up with a good streak and pushing one’s self to stay consistent with uploads for quantity’s sake become a problem? When does the quality wind up suffering instead? Would it be better if I challenged myself to purposefully give myself a break and miss a day?

I don’t know the answers.

I just know I’m going to keep adding more onto the pile to keep myself busy because for one thing for SURE, it’s keeping me busy and accountable.

Any who, I have to clean my room tomorrow before I go up to school. Oh joy…

I’ll see ye all tomorrow. ❤ ❤ ❤

One Moment

DailyDecemberBlogging THUMB - 12.1.17

Have you ever had that moment where your mind plays out several possible scenarios of an action that you could engage in but none of them wind up happening because you make that ONE decision that would have changed everything?

Yeah, I just had that moment.

I was piling away my stuff up from off my bed and onto my desk and floor haphazardly because I couldn’t be bothered nor did I care to put it away more coherently.

Maybe it was the yelling today, maybe it was something else, maybe it was nothing at all, but I went into crisis self-harm mode this evening and it really, really sucked. I made a tweet that even said I felt like a solar eclipse just occurred to me–I was great and then all of a sudden it went to shit.

It doesn’t help that it’s been forever since I last rounded up the defense troops (other friends) to help me in such situations because I found myself tweeting out that I couldn’t recall how I used to approach them when such situations occurred. Meaning: It’s been so long time wise and that was pre-tenth hospitalization that I can’t remember and am therefore fucked.

It was when I was standing in place looking at my things that I had the moment listed above. It just immediately dawned on me that I had five seconds before I acted out on a self-harming thought.

Instead, I tried uploading a Youtube video, texting two friends, playing scary stories and best yet, blasting music from my iPod’s Eminem playlist.

That playlist, I didn’t even get far in it, absolutely helped sooooo much. Eminem saved me. XD

But legit though, I’ve often found Eminem’s music to be a very good distraction from my intrusive thoughts. It definitely helped today and even more so that I could even make this post.

I almost didn’t want to write this post because I wasn’t coming out the other side alive (I know, a bit overly dramatic) but I’d really hate to break my 9 day blogging streak. Much like if I broke my filming streak too (day #3).

So, this was born instead.

Still going strong with the photography challenge–tomorrow will be 2 weeks!!!

I’m glad I did my photos early today–it snowed! 😀

But, that’s enough out of me for right now. Time for sleep, finally.

Hope you’re well.

❤ ❤ ❤

Of Achy Knees & Michael Jackson Music Videos

DailyDecemberBlogging THUMB - 12.1.17

Hello all!

So, I’ve gotta say, this post is going to be undeniably and unbelievably short.

I’m quite exhausted and as the title suggests, and up to some Michael Jackson watching music videos at the moment and I just have to bust out my camera for a few, brief photos before I turn in officially for the night.

I am now taking on a filming every day for a week challenge and completed Day #2 today. I also came up with a growing list of video ideas to work on, my next being my Room Tour. If you’d like to see more of that, well, probably by Sunday I’ll have a video up to link to you guys here.

Any who, I hope you’re all doing well. 🙂

I find myself getting stronger every day and getting closer to some of my other more neglected goals. ❤ ❤ ❤

PS I’m watching Thriller right now  😉

Of A Time Scramble

DailyDecemberBlogging THUMB - 12.1.17

*swoops into the scene like a Jedi*

Why hello there!

Welcome, welcome, everyone!

I hope that you are doing just SPECTACULARLY SNAZZY today, on this late, nearly 10pm EST evening.

I hope there are baskets of hugs (note: they’re loose limb arms) accompanying you onto this blog post today and there are many rays of sunlight filtering through the tree branches (my most favorite photography venture, although I’ve only ever captured it a few rare times myself).

Today’s post is brought to you byyyyy I didn’t do my note-taking for the film review in handwritten form on blank paper so I’m just writing this post to be another filler oops.

I will say though that today has been one HELLUVA day.

I’ve officially decided to film every day for a week now (yay!). Some of that is creating cushion space with old videos to update, edit and upload to Youtube as I also make NEW content to output later on. Probably a good way to wrap up the year, yay!

I just managed to do my photography of the day legitimately like twenty minutes ago. I’m now working on the blog post of the day and I did a snazzy video timelapsed and shit about winter clothing with some nice overlay of music by The Dear Hunter. Basically, that’s my life.

Legit though, the idea occurred to me this afternoon to film my going through my clothes which was a stroke of SHEER GENIUS because it was what I needed to motivate me and get my ass out of my warm and cozy bed (’cause before then I was just watching Youtube videos on my phone curled up under the covers). A better use of time, for sure.

I am on the hunt for creating more quality content, it’s a thought at least so that’s good. I’d like to up my quality for camera-ness (I just use my webcam) and editing software-ness so one day, one day that’ll happen!

Isn’t the first step being aware that you have a problem?

You bet your ass it is!

I may turn this December into a Vlogmas if I decide to feel especially dandy. It’d give me something to do, buahahah.

I love that I’m starting all these great habits. 🙂 I HAVE OTHER IDEAS FOR VIDEOS NOW TOO BUAHAHHAHAHAH

Any who, I’ll probably tweet about that now so I can go to bed soon. 🙂

Good night, folks!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Of A Short Post

DailyDecemberBlogging THUMB - 12.1.17

Hey everyone!!

So, you probably saw my long nearly 2,500 word post as a letter to a popular Youtuber. Because of that, and because I want to take more time for myself to work on a film review that I just watched today (and really enjoyed; I made notes during it) I’m going to just have this as today’s daily post and the film review set to come out tomorrow. I’m even thinking of handwriting it so that would be extra good. 🙂

I also JUST realized that my next psychiatry appointment is on the day I was considering going up to school to attend the Secret Santa event happening in the Mass Media. I may either call up my provider tomorrow to just re-schedule for a different day or maybe just go up on Tuesday or Wednesday. I’m not sure which yet.

I’m trying to get myself to moving just a little bit more each day to doing something new/doing something I’ve been avoiding.

I actually opened up my journal today, which is a step in the right direction. It was to type up my pre-written articles but I didn’t quite make it THAT far, oops. ^^’

I did a little Mocha shoot for today’s photo challenge (day 10). I also found out yesterday that I mislabeled a folder set but I fixed it now. I’ll be choosing out my nominations of the challenge and maybe even out-putting each day’s featured picture, either with or without a description, I’m not sure, hehe.

I think I’m gonna be able to go all December with daily photography–which is freakin’ awesome, as I’ve been putting off photography for ages over the mental health years (3). I’m happy to say that with the swing of things I can indeed jump back into it with ease. It’s also about looking for photogenic opportunities and following up in that moment to taking a photo. And re-creating/re-shooting old ideas. 🙂

You’ll see what I mean in the future. 😉

Okay, I’m going to color and listen to more creepy-pastas.

I hope you guys are having a good week!!

 

❤ ❤ ❤

A Letter to Eugenia Cooney

Trigger Warning: Eating disorder details mentioned in this post.

I’m not sure how to start this blog post. If I submit this blog post tonight (Dec 6th), it will be alongside my secondary submission of today’s daily post. Meaning, it will be my second post even though it’ll come out before the other one and this one is not attached to that one. Does that make sense? Let’s just roll with it, shall we?

Hello there, my name is Raquel Lyons and I am a mental health advocate and recovery voyager of various mental health conditions alongside bouts of self-harm and suicidality. I’ve been doing uberly well lately and have been maintaining that wellness. I run the blog Recovery to Wellness here on WordPress and also have a Youtube channel under the same name and a Twitter page under a similar name.

I am a lover of unicorns and rainbows (something that’s become quite “in” lately), I am a Marvel Cinematic Universe fanatic (particularly Loki centered Avengers fanfiction), I love creating various forms of artwork and also still have a deviantART page! My soul, as I boldly love to claim, is the color of a rainbow with sparkles and a bright white light that causes traffic accidents worldwide! 🙂 ❤

That’s a little bit about myself. And that’s important to know because this post may or may not (I certainly don’t have a magic 8 ball, although we used to!) become eye candy to other people out there. I am name-calling to the ninth degree and broadcasting this out into the world…something I’m actually a little uncertain to do about. But I write this letter in hopes that Miss Eugenia Cooney will see it. And, in hopes that others who struggle as she does might see it, too.

If you don’t know, Eugenia is a very popular Youtuber who creates frequent clothing haul and make-up videos and other quirky things like that. She’s done some commentaries on her older Youtube videos, old modeling photos, and childhood photos as well. She loves Jack Skellington from A Nightmare Before Christmas (something I’ve actually never seen myself) and was once into the ’emo’ phase as a younger Youtuber. She’s had her channel, I believe, since about 2013 and she’s twenty-three years old to date (I’m only 24, myself!). She runs a Twitter page, an Instagram, a Snapchat and also makes appearances on YouNow (a live broadcasting website).

Eugenia is a very, very sweet young woman who, as of 2017, has been blossoming like a little cherry blossom into more of a pastel or “girly” (I use the term loosely) style in clothing and room decor: She has a “Princess” banner in her room, the walls are pink and she’s got stuffed animals, Hello Kitty and kawaii stuff all about (which, frankly, I think is awesome).

I think this is the point where I make a very loud disclaimer. I don’t know Eugenia personally, although she has liked a few of my tweets and that makes me feel noticed by senpai! I don’t know her other than what she puts out online for the world to see… which to be frank, is a hefty duty to make. I give you major props, Eugenia, because you let a lot of other people into your life than most people would dare to do. Especially since there comes a dark side to the popularity.

Eugenia appears to be suffering from a mental health condition, maybe even a few.

The word ‘appears’ is a…tricky one. First of all, there is no such thing as a “look” to a mental health condition. I’ve had a couple people in my life tell me that I don’t “look” like I live with depression or suicidality, and that makes sense, because there’s NO such thing as a “look” to internal (even external) struggles.

Some struggles, some battles, are what some people refer to as “invisible” AND even with that truth, there can be external…warning signs. Little alarm bells that go off, so to speak.

I believe that Eugenia may be suffering from an invisible illness.

Now, it’s not my place to judge or “armchair diagnose” other individuals.

Do I do that, though?

Yeah. Ohhhh, yeah. This gal right here? I do that in books, movies, and real life. It’s almost like a guilty pleasure.

But genuinely, I think there are things happening behind the scenes in Eugenia’s life.

Now, there’s a reason I’m writing this post right now. Hell, I believe there are things happening in Eugenia’s freakin’ brain that no one else (or few others) know about. Eugenia is someone who I think this drawing (inspired by a good friend of mine in the blogging community) applies to:

IMG_00003042

I think I showed this to you guys before, or, maybe I hadn’t, I don’t recall, actually. I don’t even know if I uploaded it to DA, but that’s neither here nor there.

What it shows is a mountain range with a big orange sun radiating out light, and a blue sky with pink in the clouds up above and the phrase “Your positivity masks deep pain.”

Now, I say this to Eugenia:

You are an undeniably sweet, kind, compassionate and caring human being. I do not believe for a second that you are in any way trying to “manipulate” your large audience to look like you or become as thin as you are.

Honestly, I don’t think you even realize yourself how dangerous the dice you are rolling are heading off the table.

I believe that you are suffering internally. I believe you have the ability, and not just that but the true courage inside of you, the REAL Eugenia, to seek help from medical professionals, therapists, psychiatrists, whatever and everything that will help you to become your true self, a version of you that is safe and healthy and happy.

You may not want to share your darkness with the world, I understand that. But please know, that there are many, many people who want to see you get better. You do not have to go through this bullshittery alone.

I believe in you, always. I believe you will live to see the day where you get better, not just physically but mentally.

I wish that for you so very, very much. You deserve to live to see that day for yourself, too. You could help to inspire so many other people, just like so many of us humans can do with our lives.

I know you get a LOT of shit from the Internet. They may always exist in your life, but there ARE people who want to and will support you through your recovery. I hope that you can choose that path for yourself before something truly tragic occurs.

Anorexia is the most deadly mental health condition. To my knowledge, it is a large sweeping umbrella–all eating disorders are–with many misconceptions and problematic stigmas taking place in the freakin’ world today and for so many years prior.

I think that because Eugenia has always been on the thinner side, that her possible…her potential–her probable anorexia has just gone unnoticed. And, that, frankly, sucks ass. That’s just shit.

And, it might be her reality.

As someone who has also always been on the thin side, I can imagine that this eating disorder has slowly and gradually robbed Eugenia of the things she enjoys most in this world.

Eugenia dealt with bullying in real life as a young girl, and it’s absolutely abhorrent that she deals with it on a larger, more elusive, electronic way to this day. She has had so many trolls, so many misconceived notions thrown her way and she STILL continues to post about her life and her triumphs with waking up each morning despite it all. She is a WARRIOR, genuinely and truly.

And I think she is living with a treatable, difficult but treatable, mental health condition that if not stopped, will take her life. I dread that that day may come soon.

Anorexia, and all eating disorders, are very complicated mental health conditions. There is likely no “one” root cause for them forming in people’s lives. There is no “one” route for treatment, either.

Spamming somebody, relentlessly, with hate, body-focused compliments (or insults), and saying “Just eat” doesn’t help ANYONE.

The Internet can be a very cold, very dark and very cruel place.

And not all places on the Internet are that way. Not all people on the Internet are that way. I don’t have the answer for Eugenia. And I don’t pretend to have it, either.

I just wanted to add my own voice into the mix. I guess I want to feel like I’m doing something when there’s so little I can actually do. But maybe, maybe not curing someone is a call to action. Maybe I don’t “have” to go about “saving” someone like Eugenia, maybe just saying something when there are cruel people who exist to tear someone like Eugenia down, to speak up for the voiceless, maybe that IS something. Maybe that means *something* in this fucked up world.

I’ve got to believe that I can empower change in someone in this world, otherwise, what would be the point in saying anything at all?

Maybe Eugenia always had a problematic approach towards food, that I do not know. Again though, I can see–as someone who has never personally weighed a hundred pounds in my lifetime (although I’m soon to pass that milestone)–that it could have easily started out innocently, even true that she is naturally thin, and then somewhere along the middle dipped into an eating disorder. I think it’s also very likely that because she is so ill, so consumed by the anorexia, she doesn’t know or realize or WANT to know that she’s in some deep level shit.

Again, it sucks that so many people start seemingly caring when a person has gotten “thin “enough””. Again, there are many, many misconceptions I can go into, probably more than I realize, that I’ll just spare you all the details in. I highly encourage you to read up on anorexia and fellow eating disorders to learn about them, understand them better and to better help those who are struggling with them in the future–both if you know a loved one who is struggling or if you want to be like me and write fanfiction about it.

I think the Internet fucked up by calling Eugenia out on her issue (probably not how people advise others to go about it) so much in the last few years, even during the duration she’s been online prominently and now she’s become immune to more nasty comments (she’s built a tolerance, so to speak and such immunity in this case would be a good thing, sad for sure, but good because the nastiness I mention are just very cruel, Internet people) that there is likely very little the Internet can do to help her. Especially if the Internet’s role is to demean, degrade and insult her. That’s just not going to help anyone, again.

I mean, I’ve been called “anorexic” in my life before (not true and also not correct terminology and also not an insult) and it is like my knee jerk reaction to say that no, I’m not. So, in that way, I can see how that may be playing a role in Eugenia’s case. I also think at some point an unhealthy relationship has formed with food for her because she is so worryingly thin, thinner than she has ever been before, and dangerously thin that something horrible could happen to her at any point in time.

I wish I could say that my writing this article would do a whole lot of good for her. But that’s probably thinking a little TOO highly of myself. However, I do encourage anyone to leave their thoughts, their comments, their opinions and everything in between in the comments below. And please, share this.

Because, it matters. Eugenia, you matter. You don’t deserve to die. None of us do, not in this mental health awareness community. Not in this WordPress family. There are SO many people who care about you, so many people who root for you each day, please, do everything you can to see us and hear us and help yourself. Please, strive to tattle tail on yourself if it means getting help and getting better.

It is heartbreaking to watch this young woman go deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. And to be frank and honest, that’s not saying I don’t want to see it happen, rather, I’d like to know and I’d like to know HOW I can help and how if there’s ANYTHING absolutely anything I can do to help minimize the burden of this mental health condition because it’s got to be heavy to bear on your own, Eugenia, viewer, reader, whoever is reading this. I’d rather know.

I highly, highly encourage anyone out there who is struggling with an eating disorder, mental health, suicide, depression, self-harm, to please, please seek help. You are worthy of recovery. You are worth so much more than the bullshit your brain tells you. I know I am just one person in the world, and I am telling you that you matter and you are important and you are enough just as you are right now.

There are about a dozen hotlines you can call if you live in the USA:

The NEDA Helpline is available Monday-Thursday from 9AM to 9PM ET, and Friday from 9AM to 5PM ET. Contact the Helpline for support, resources and treatment options for yourself or a loved one.

Helpline volunteers are trained to help you find the information and support you are looking for. Reach out today!

Ways to Contact the NEDA Helpline: You may reach the Helpline at (800) 931-2237.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1800 273 8255

And you can happily Google all sorts of other hotlines and chat forums to help you or someone you love if they are in need.

 

This has been a lot of writing. I think I have finally said, genuinely and actually, EVERYTHING I wanted to say. This was a lot and it’s ironically dinner time and time for me to sit out blogging for a while so I can write up my next post.

With that said, thank YOU for reading. I hope it was interesting or educational or helpful in some manner. Please do share this, but do NOT send her or anyone else unnecessary (even “necessary”) hate or bullshit. Just don’t.

If you would like to suggest a topic for me to write on in the future, something a little more candid or in response to things, let me know. And please share your own thoughts on the matter and everything to that extent.

Thank you for existing.

❤ ❤ ❤