LIFE UPDATE & Thumb Thursday #6: Your Destination Is Awaiting You

Life Update Thumb

Okay, we’re going to play a game of pretend for a moment:

  1. Let’s pretend this post is consecutive to the last Thumb Thursday #5 and not that it was at all 3-4 weeks ago. No, it wasn’t. It’s here now, at least, and that’s what counts.
  2. I am totally suffering through a cold that I apparently contracted unfortunately recently, probably from those few times I didn’t wash my hands when I used the bathroom at program (I used hand sanitizer though, so I wasn’t a complete rogue monkey)
  3. I have … officially and unofficially a job now–like a per diem thingy that I do at least 2 shifts per month, so, that’s nice. I haven’t actually been on the job yet but I am busier now because of all the trainings and such. But we’ll talk about that later.

—It’s officially LATER!

Here’s what I’ve been up to in the time that I haven’t been blogging consistently for any of my days (and being two weeks late with a Film Friday AKA a Youtube video upload Fri that I started back in Sept, it’s Oct now, eeeooof, where is the time going??) but yeah, let’s see…. :

  • Youtubing. Been heavy on that lately.
  • Accepting and coming to terms with/grappling with the fact that I have an INTERNET addiction (yes, this is a post I plan to make in the future and no, the irony isn’t lost on me XD)
  • Going to program
  • Getting involved with JOB stuff
  • Waiting to hear back on JOB stuff
  • Getting an offer of hiring**
  • Minimal amounts of reading — wants, YES, but little actual output
  • Still actively avoiding several other things, that are strangely all blog post related
  • Being on Twitter as my instantaneous journal
  • Filling out MOST of my planner stuffs
  • Editing videos
  • Not doing much, if at all, any creative writing (including blogging, obviously)
  • PAINTING (cool photos and a haul I can show you both in VIDEO form and written, maybe not tonight though (I have about 20 mins left. Apparently part of my job is now being fast and quick with the time I DO have XD Which is honestly something I needed more of) But essentially painting a cool wooden box that’s Halloween themed
  • A couple haul things (Michael’s, washi tape, journals, clothing)
  • NAMI stuff (IOOV)
  • NAMI stuff for P2P (Nov.)
  • Visiting the library and taking out large amounts of books (5) that I keep for 2 months and never read. See Internet Addiction as the reason for that
  • Hanging out with Madeline a few times. πŸ™‚

Annnnnd, I think that’s about it.

**Now, job stuff.

So, I can’t really tell you much about that.

Because largely HIPAA and confidentiality and privacy and such. But also for my own safety and other people’s safety and that kind of thing. Not that I was probably ever super descriptive of any previous jobs I’ve had in the past either though. For now, I don’t have a pseudonym for my job but I’m sure I’ll think of one. I can say that it’s essentially working with troubled youth at a residential (not a locked unit). And I can say how I relate to the work itself.

So, today I had to wake up at 6:45am which if you know how I’ve been missing GPS at program every MWF because it’s at 9:15a and I don’t show up until 10a, IS A BIG FEAT FOR MYSELF TO HAVE GOTTEN UP SO EARLY.

The training was from 8a-3p, although today we got out a little early (about an hour). There’s approximately 10 trainings I have to do for the job. Three have online components and because we got out early from safety training (which reminds me so very much of the previous job stint I had working with mental health in the prison system (0 to 100 REAL FAST; we’re talking Past Raquel not making good decisions in 2017)) today I decided to clock in with the HIPAA training on the computer today (because it can only be done on campus).

Tomorrow is the second day of it and from the same time frame and all the physical stuff involved (very similar :P)

Overall though, I really like it. I HOPE that in PRACTICE I will also fall in love with it. The biggest thing is going to be, well, a few things for me.

First, I don’t know the area very well and there is a slight/small driving aspect to the job. I have to communicate this uncomfortable-ness to my supervisor but we’ll go over that briefly here (I’m just not familiar with the area and we all know how my last job went that was heavy on the driving aspect).

Second, I’m gonna have to get a tough skin. People are going to be swearing and yelling and I have to learn de-escalation stuff and sometimes how to get out of holds and safety concerns, etc. And runaways. Lots of runaways.

This second thing, although I didn’t write so much about it above, is the big thing I’m worried about. I’ve never really had someone be angry at me face to face and have to ask them questions about it and such. Or de-escalate, etc.

That’s gonna be the big test, I think. And unfortunately things will get worse before they get better. And on paper and through communication I really think it’s a great job with a lot of benefits (not in paper because I’m only per diem and that’s only about 2 shifts per month so yeah) that has it’s great times and would be really rewarding–it just also has that really ugly side. That side where kids will test you and yeah. I guess it’s probably my lack of experience coming out. Speaking of….

Third, I have to teach life skills when I barely know life skills myself. Like dishwasher, washing machines, cooking, etc.

Fourth, boundaries, of course!

A lot of what I’m learning at program will probably be utilized in this job, I think. I have more trainings as I mentioned earlier later this month and 3 of which involves shadowing another staff member so that will get me to see what it’s like. I really hope I like it because I’m getting emotionally invested in it already, you know? I’m thinking I’ll start off with 2 shifts a month, then by Dec do up to 4, once per week so I can work on building the rapport and things like that. I’m also thinking ahead that I could alternate in a Tu, Th, Sat, Tu type schedule as well.

But, that’s if I like it.

Of course, I know that it’s okay to not be the right fit for this job but I already have the self-expectation that I have to stick with it. But, I won’t know until I shadow and that happens next Thursday!

Until then, tomorrow is more training (all the physical stuff) and SATURDAY is a festival I’m going with with Madeline and David, hoorah! So I’m really excited about that. πŸ™‚

Lastly on the job front: I will still be doing IOOV’s on my off days and I will be teaching a Peer to Peer course probably in Nov on Mon’s. I’ll have more info and FLYERS about that as information is given to me. πŸ™‚ I’ll essentially be juggling 3 jobs, kinda.

Also, I recently arrived at a health insurance problem that I have to figure out and take care of. Here’s hoping that goes smoothly!!! πŸ˜›

Also, also I am NOT looking forward to winter. BRRRRR!

Lastly, and this is what I’ll finish this post on, let’s get into:

Thumb Thursday #6: Your Destination is Awaiting You

Life Works Itself Out - No One Ways - THUMB - TT6 - 7.16.19

So this is relevant to two things:

  1. The whole job thing for me at the moment (which is partially what inspired this concept/wording here)
  2. Actual driving concepts
  3. I mentioned it in program during women’s group when someone was using a car metaphor. I actually printed it out and they might eventually do something with it, not sure on that though. But yeah.

But the idea is that there’s no true one way about life. Everything that we experience in life can be learning experiences, at its most simple and benign forms. There’s not really much of a right vs wrong way, we feel how we feel, and as long as our actions are in line with our values and those of society (I’m thinking serial killers here, I was always the type of kid to frown upon generalizations (“Follow your dreams” they say, but what if your dream is to become a serial killer? Then, “follow your dreams as long as they’re in accordance to someone else’s rules?”)) than that’s that, you know?

Life is like taking the wrong turn sometimes at an intersection. That’s okay. That’s where you take the wrong turn. You don’t take the wrong turn down the interstate, that would be extremely problematic. Don’t do that.

But we’re all going to make mistakes sometimes, and that’s how we learn. We get more cautious from experience. We learn what not to do or what to do more of. We learn. And learning is a process and it’s not something you’ll get all at once.

Which reflects back to how jobs are for me at the moment. I can’t plan or predict EVERY single unique outcome or interaction. I’ll definitely try to but it’s just not feasible. Some things, pretty much everything else in life doesn’t exactly come with a script or really great actors. It’s not just written word but experiencing one another face to face and in real time. Which I think is something I struggle with especially.

It’s easy, or easier, for me to communicate in text based whereas in person things can get more awry. And that’s probably my lack of human interaction experience and maybe a few of my diagnoses that contribute to such issues, but just as I’m uncovering more through using body language while watching movies, I’m training myself to pick up more of the time the body language of OTHERS, which is huge.

But ultimately, yeah. Life will work itself out. No one has it all figured out, they just are a little more confident and have walked the same path for years that one day you’ll find your way through too. Some people, especially on social media, highlight their best moments but cower in their struggles.

I think it’s time more of us embrace our struggles and through triumph, overcome them and use them to our advantage.

Who said emotions make us weak? Or emotional expression is manipulation?

I dare you to challenge these words, these concepts, because they don’t have to be your reality. That’s a really great Les Brown quote:

“Don’t let someone’s opinion of you become your reality”

You’re not going to be liked by every single person on the planet. It’s not necessarily a reflection on you but on wherever they are at in their life. You’re gonna preach to the choir of fifty people and only about 2 will be in a place in their life to be able to appropriately receive your message and have the courage to stand up and be different. The rest are going to either criticize or be apathetic or indifferent or just get perpetually offended and unable to hear anyone else’s side of things of any given situation.

Again, that’s on them.

Not you.

Communication skills are a two way street. People aren’t mind readers, if you have feelings of being uncomfortable or comfortable, you need to tell that to people directly, because relying on someone else to take responsibility for you is probably crossing territories with co-dependency and definitely enabling in a way that is ultimately harmful for you both short term and long term. Unless you tell someone there’s a problem, they’re not going to know it. Maybe picking up on some body language could help but without knowing what’s going on in your head, they won’t know. You can’t fix a problem if you’re not aware of there being a problem in the first place.

So yeah. That’s my spiel.

I’m a little hungry now, I’ve gone through a few different songs on my iPod and I’m going to go eat dinner, prepare before Grey’s and then go to sleep soon after (maybe read a little or try and work on that analysis I’ve been actively avoiding for 3 months XD)

I hope that you enjoyed this post and got some further insights into all my thoughts and processing stuff that was seriously overdue. Not gonna lie.

But, I’ll see you hopefully on Mon with a new post and hopefully, MAYBE tomorrow with a video. We’ll see. Depends how exhausted I am XD

Welp! Thank you so much for reading!! I really appreciate it!

Leave me some of your thoughts below and I’ll happily respond.

Stay safe.

xxx ❀ ❀ ❀

PS And spread some kindness out into the world today!! ❀ πŸ™‚

Thumb Thursday #5: Turning Inwards to Guide Yourself Home Again

THUMB (somebody loves u - Plumb) = TT5 - 7.14; 7.16.19

So I originally was supposed to have this blog post for my casual Thumb Thursday’s out back on July 30th 2019.

Well, as you can see.

That never happened.

But it shall today!! Or tonight, to be honest.

It’s about 9:30p EST on the first Thursday of September and I …. am tired. But I also want to get this done today and hold myself accountable as well as write a life update again and speak into the void and talk about how I’ve almost written a few other blog posts (music/song a day’s) and what my plans are coming up (26 RAK’s and suicide prevention topics/Youtube videos for this year) AS WELL AS on topic for the thumb of choice here.

So, let’s begin!!

  1. See “Upcoming Plans” for my update on the RAK’s video
  2. Got my flu shot today yay!
  3. Stopped in for my psychiatry appointment
  4. Got some One protein bars at CVS (I’ll probably only have 1 or 2 a week because my colon hates me for it after) XD
  5. Celebrated my birthday and got really nice and cool new things!
  6. Ordered new Avengers/Iron Man/Loki merch from Amazon!!
  7. Been back into watching/reviewing some films (one, largely)
  8. Back into writing fanfic again (as of today)
  9. Putting up with all the “work” I set up for myself and how exhausting that can be and complicated 😦
  10. Trying to get closer to reading books but it’s a bit hit or miss
  11. Getting lost in Youtube again, damn you, addictions!!
  12. Reading some AMAZING fanfics out there. πŸ™‚
  13. Procrastinating (as of this week) on everything (dishes, jobs, book analysis, blogging)
  14. Going for experience at a job interview on Sat. Hopefully it’s not too difficult to get to!


This actually goes hand in hand with a life update portion from above (that I didn’t mention there) and something I tweeted last Friday. The final cut video for the Passages recovery interview I’ve spoken about on Youtube and Twitter earlier this year (it was filmed in Feb 2019) has been officially brought together and I saw most of it last Friday. It was very, very interesting, a little triggering but really, really well done. I can’t WAIT until it goes up online for realsies. And I’ll definitely let you all know when it does.

I feel like I’ve been waiting for my “big break” for a while now. I still feel that way as I’ve, in the last couple of years, shied away from and isolated myself from this blogosphere community. Because of that, my numbers and more importantly my interactions have decreased tremendously, making me feel as though I’m merely speaking into a void, which, hell, maybe I am.

I know that’s the case on Youtube x1000 but it’s weird to have it like that on my blog too. I don’t know, I could ask you, Reader, how to increase my interactions (and I largely believe that’s up to me to write and read others’ blogs) but you may not be reading this to begin with so it feels a little lackluster to ask the emptiness.

But I will still try.

Maybe I can up my game soon. We shall see.

  1. I have a lot of art related time lapse videos to come onto my Youtube channel (one in particular: Phyllis IOS)
  2. The creation and finalization of my “26 Random Acts of Kindness” which are more like 17 RAK’s but hey, I faced some obstacles that I wasn’t anticipating but hopefully be resolved by next week.
  3. A shortened version of my ‘Life beyond Suicidal Thoughts’ video (hopefully from 1 hour originally to about 25 mins.)
  4. An art related/music filled video for World Suicide Prevention Day (Sept 10th)
  5. A tribute video to a few past Youtubers who passed on before their time. ❀
  6. Creating Twitter and website banners for the account mental_live (World Mental Health Day Live) on Twitter
  7. Typing & publishing my remainder of old articles from Uni
  8. Tying & publishing book reviews/book analyses and film reviews/film analyses
  9. Rebuilding my audience online
  10. Creating more song a day posts
  11. Applying to outside the Internet jobs and gaining more interviewing experiences


It is now almost 10p which means soon I’ll be turning into a pumpkin and falling asleep, hoorah.

But before then, I’d like to speak on the subject of this day’s thumb.

“While you may get lost every now and then, always look within to guide you home! You’ll get there!”

I picked this particular layout of a thumb (which I make all of them on my Canva account, a most lovely and wonderful graphic design website) because the original coloration and shape of the doe reminded me of ‘Expecto Patronum’ (which you can see etched into the top of the bigger text box) from Harry Potter and I thought it was a good homage to toss back to that epic series of books and films. πŸ™‚

I was listening to Plumb’s “Somebody Loves You” which was requested to me by my friend Vanessa, when I made this thumb and this was the phrase/concept that stuck out the most in my brain.

I think we can all relate to feeling lost and unworthy of belonging in some amount or degree at some point in our lives.

And it’s especially easy to get lost when we don’t know who we are. (Like when mental health crises occur!) Like, deep down, who am I? What makes me ME? And I think when we struggle with that form of identity and being we may reach out to others for validation and support rather than looking inward and knowing that somehow, somewhere, at some point, we’ll get to where we want to be.

It’s like that saying goes, you can’t truly love someone else if you don’t love yourself. Now, there’s definitely things WRONG with that saying, don’t get me wrong, and I think there’s a kernel of truth within it. How can be expect ourselves to water the plants when our own tanks are burnt out and rusted?

It has to come from within and it has to be nurtured within our souls because we don’t need to rely on others to know who we are, to know what makes us ourselves and to depend on them in a way that could easily turn unhealthy.

Of course, it’s easier said that done. I still believe it’s possible, however.

If we pay attention to our guts, to our hearts, and then to our brains, we can find the answer. And it’s okay to ask for help, of course! We can ask for the opinions of others while being reminded that at the end of the day, we are the only ones who truly, truly and deeply know ourselves. We know our insecurities and flaws and our triumphs and understandings. People can offer their opinions but if we don’t agree with them, and we won’t always, we can take them with a grain of thought. Think: “No one can hurt you without your permission.” (Metaphorically, that is).

But, that’s all I have for today.

I hope that something from this was interesting. Imagine if it wasn’t, ha, that would suck! And again, this is just an outsider’s perspective on your experiences. Not everything I say will resonate or hit the right chord with you, it’s just what I think in this moment of time and who knows, maybe 6 months from now it’ll evolve and be different. πŸ™‚ Such is the beauty of life.

If nothing else, believe in the ultimate process. Because it will be there for you to shine and understand and live within it.

Thank you so much for reading!!

Hopefully I’m here tomorrow for a ‘Film Friday‘ πŸ˜‰

The most wonderful of songs to listen to, which I may feature one day on its own.

Thumb Thursday #3: You Are So Very, Very Loved

You are Loved, Forever and Always - THUMB - TT3 - 7.3.19

I think sometimes we have to work with where we’re at.

Not before, not after, but right in the middle.

This post is going to be uncomfortable for me, because I’m going to challenge the notion that I HAVE to (by my own rules, no less) write LONG blog posts, that I cannot justify writing a blog post that’s 100 or 500 words long, that anything less than 1K or more is just not possible, not feasible, not ENOUGH.


Additionally, I am doing this post late at night. Not my ideal circumstances at all. I’m tired, I want to sleep soon and I have to get up early tomorrow for program and my job is being difficult and stressful and it brings up a lot of stuff for me that’s very uncomfortable and unfortunate.

So, let’s talk about that for a minute.

My first day was Saturday 7/13. It went, if you follow me on Twitter or know me in real life, less than well. It was A LOT of driving in unfamiliar places and a lot of anxieties were faced and I kinda burnt out in the middle of it and wanted the ULTIMATE AVOIDANCE levels AKA meaning I wanted to die. The entire time. It was great!! (*Note the serious level of sarcasm here*)

I wanted to quit, I wanted to run away, I definitely wanted the experience to be over, I wanted to hide, but really, I wanted to die. And it was all the intense feelings present with NO suicide planning at all, which is reminiscent to how it was back in my last semester of college. Thanks, DBT!

But I entered a new arena:

Where I don’t feel “sick enough” to require a hospitalization. And that brings up bad tastes in my mouth, because I distinctly remember a time 5 years ago where I went for help at the Counseling Center on a Friday and was not an imminent danger to myself so there wasn’t much they could do so they sent me home. And I remember I had faced a fork in the road:

I could either choose recovery or I could choose to become “more serious” (more severe may be a better way of wording that).

So, what did I do?

I chose the latter and got my ass hospitalized the coming Monday.

But I don’t really want that now, five years into the future. But I think I’m mourning the fact that I don’t get to go to a hospital. Because I am safe. And being safe doesn’t equate to being in the hospital. Like, people go to the hospital when they’re unsafe to be safe.

And even though I have all the FEELINGS there, and urges somewhat too, I’m NOT unsafe. So, does that mean I can’t go to the hospital?

I guess not, right?

I mean, I know that hospitals are the places to go to for stabilization, medication adjustments, safety concerns, etc.

But I’m getting ahead of myself–Sat was a hard shift and I had to end it early. I legit cried the entire way home (and I hung out with David for a while after which helped immensely by the way (his Mom gives great hugs!) and I got to pet his cats and go by the beach and laugh and enjoy myself, it was really lovely, when we parted ways he gave me a big hug and told me to stay safe too, which was really sweet and compassionate, just FYI) and had a MASSIVE pep talk from my parents after when I showed back up and we chatted a bunch, I cried, I pet The Mokeys and watched “A Dog’s Purpose”. It took me until about Monday to re-stabilize out. I also made a chain analysis for it, too.

My therapist may have picked a terrible time (for me) to get married. XD

Tu 7/16: I faced another work shift, only 3 hours, and we spent it easily at the movie theater to see “Crawl” (2019) (which I will review soon!) and it was an easy day and not very complicated and it went great. Loved the job again!

Today, Th 7/18: I hate the job again. I met with my supervisor before I headed over and we went to the Z Mall (which is pretty abandoned by this point) and it was okay, but the caregivers of my client were really pushing my boundaries for travel areas (Boston) and such and for events that I’m unwilling and uncomfortable doing plus the additional hours that ARE within my cluster but that are difficult to judge and implement with the timing of my other commitments and the availability of my client.

Tough stuff.

So, I got a bit stressed out and wanted to die again so there’s that. And I cried a little on the way home but no where near as bad as Sat.

Ultimately, it is my decision. We’re doing problem solving in DBT-I right now so I’m gonna do it on this situation but I’ll probably give it 2 months before I quit. I think there is the driving aspect of it and the behavioral aspect of it and I struggle with balancing BOTH of those (whereas if I didn’t have driving anxieties I wouldn’t have to worry about that). I know I can get more involved with NAMI work but my Mom isn’t happy about that, either.

I’d like to give it 6 months but that might be unrealistic. And I don’t know if it’s really worth it all. I’m thinking the mileage isn’t, as 2/3 of my travel time/cost wouldn’t be covered by the agency. But then it’s like, do I want to gain some experience? Would working with another client closer be better? What other hours could I put in? All that jazz.

But as of right now, I’m gonna wait a couple more weeks before I make my final decision. Sorry, I’ve gotten tired again, another wave of it, and I think I may have to tap out for now.

I guess, some things don’t have easy answers.

I wish love were enough to not let, not allow, people with (or without, even) mental health conditions end their lives. I wish love were a force to be more reckoned with, a hug so tight and pervasive that it couldn’t be argued otherwise that it didn’t exist.

But just know that you are loved. As the thumb says, with all the love hearts across it. I know that I am loved. I know that my mental health is my first priority. I know that while this job may turn out to be not the right fit for me at this time, it could be better fitting in the future.

And that either way, I’ll find a job I can do, that I’m competent at and that I enjoy and love as much as anything else. Maybe that’s in advocacy, maybe that’s elsewhere. And I guess I have to come to acceptance of taking myself where I’m at and not where I think I should be or how much further along I feel I should be.

So, feelings be damned, I say! And I’ll keep plugging away. Reminded daily of where I’m at in my recovery and where I want to be next. And maybe, maybe in the end, that is all that matters.

I’ve been aching to write some fanfic this week, so I hope to do that soon! I have updated D&D this past week, which was awesome! I’ve also had family therapy which is great. But I really have to go and somehow this managed to be 1K words, sigh. Maybe next time?

Thank you so much for reading all of this!!! ❀ ❀ ❀

Background song: “Do Not Go Gentle” by Josh Woodward (yet another song to mention in a future post).

(re)Framing Friday | Week #7

Welcome, to week #7 of (re)Framing Friday! In all hopes and dreams, this will ACTUALLY come out again on a Friday. πŸ™‚ Hooray to scheduled posting!

Music Share of the Week:

(from another song)

Lately I’ve been hard to reach, I’ve been too long on my own. Everybody has a private world where they can be alone, are you calling me? Are you trying to get through? Are you reaching out for me? I’m reaching out for you…


In my shoes, just to see
What it’s like, to be me
I’ll be you, let’s trade shoes
Just to see what it’d be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other’s minds
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other’s eyes
But don’t let ’em say you ain’t beautiful, oh
They can all get fucked.
Just stay true to you

Nobody asked for life to deal us
With these bullshit hands we’re dealt
We gotta take these cards ourselves
And flip them, don’t expect no help
Now I could have either just
Sat on my ass and pissed and moaned
Or take this situation in which I’m placed in
And get up and get my own

Video Share of the Week:

Google Images:





TEDtalk about suicide/prevention:

A quote of hope:


Stay safe, peeps!!! ❀ ❀ ❀

(re)Framing Friday | Week #6

Woot woot, (late) week #6!!!

Β Music Share of the Week:

Because Rachel Platten is love. ❀

Video Share of the Week:

I quite enjoy watching Daz Games as of late and his commentary is, I find, hilarious. I busted out laughing at 15:55 (start at 15:42) in his video linked below and I literally couldn’t stop for a good two or three minutes. Fucking HILARIOUS. His reaction that is.

WARNING: The original video likely contains a troll who is claiming she was raped by being saved from drowning (in that, she was handled without her permission (she was unconscious) and is therefore claiming rape). There are screams throughout her Star Wars is about periods video so be careful of that, too. And she mentions transgenderism, too. Just, watch the video, it will all make sense.

But yeah, his reaction to what she says around 15:42 is just so priceless! I will include another one of my personal favorites as well, from when he’s playing a video game. πŸ™‚

For September: Some Suicide Awareness Themed Images (from Google):


Above: Do’s and Don’ts regarding suicide prevention awareness. I’ll be including related images throughout the month about warning signs, misconceptions, etc. I may even have to make some on my own (because there’s a limited amount out there in the world for some reason).



My friend Lottie shared this fantabulous song:


Take care of each other and stay safe, my friends. ❀ ❀ ❀

(re)Framing Friday | Week #4

I think it’s the fourth week at least XD

Again, a late upload. I thought on and off about not doing this week’s today, (end of August that is) but it’s on my mind so much that I just will. πŸ™‚ I can’t quite remember all that I wanted to share though. Oops.

Music Share of the Week:


Video share of the Week:

I’ve watched this several times over and I just love it. It had me laughing so much the first time I watched it XD


MCU xx 5

It’s actually quite difficult to find an appropriate Loki quote for this blog. But, I found something! πŸ™‚

MCU -- 5

I like this quote above too, because I think it can be applicable for every being in life. πŸ™‚


Don’t know if this is actually a superhero quote, but we’ll roll with it πŸ˜‰ I may even use it in a scrapbook page! New idea, woot woot!

MCU Quote 5

Posts to Expect within September:

  • Suicide prevention related drawings (I have a couple backed up that I can use)
  • Book reviews (I’ve read 3 books in 3 days; and still have 4 more to go!)
  • Pre-scheduled posts
  • Some potential type of blogging schedule – with school I won’t be able to blog on Friday’s and I have TuTh’s off, mostly, so those can be blog days and yeah. Gotta figure something out
  • Daily prompts
  • Teachable moments
  • Suicide prevention related posts (warning signs, quotes, etc.)

I can’t think of anything else to include in this post, so I’ll be scheduling it for noon to come out! Thanks for reading everybody!!!!! ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

(re)Framing Friday | Week #4

Video share of the week:

Fell asleep to this meditation last night. I might play it again tonight. πŸ™‚Β  I’m doing this post much later than usual, so sorry for that, and the fact that I’m tired so I just want to get it done quickly. πŸ˜›

Music of the Week:

I listened to this song again on Wed morning and it’s been a song I’ve listened to since the time I went into college. πŸ™‚ I particularly LOVE the third verse.

I know I’ve shared this song before, but it really helped me out today. I got wicked stressed out at 4p today from trying to get the SPSS Statistics software to work on my laptop all day long, and so by 4p anxiety, slight panic and agitation were just sinking in and my perspective was narrowing and I was feeling helpless and just curling into a ball and needing some music to calm down to. This wound up being a song that really, really helped.

At the most minimal, I wanted to cry, and the most maximum the OCD was shouting in my head to kill myself and showing me images of self-harm and scratching myself.

I didn’t act on anything, which is awesome, but it was rough. Glad I had this song to get me through it. ❀ ❀ (I feel though that the part about the father in the second verse should be ‘dying’ rather than ‘flying’ but maybe that’s just me)

This song is great and it’s pretty new from this Youtuber, so definitely go check it out!!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

Positive Images from Google:

empowerment 4

I just love this idea and concept above. It’s a subtle way of mentioning the semicolon project and reminding us that we get to write and rewrite our stories each word at a time. ❀

change 4

❀ ❀ ❀

Real-Recovery-quote 4

Remember this photo, I want to do a larger post about this idea in the future! πŸ™‚

hopeeee 4

The has some great quotes, pictures and the like! I’ve seen quite a few from them here in this blogging world. πŸ™‚

As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve been pretty much up the wazoo studying and trying to get programs to work. So, I don’t have any new artwork from this week, but I cannot WAIT until the class is over (just gotta get through Monday!!!) and I can just veg out for a while before the fall semester begins πŸ™‚


I think I’m going to make this reFraming Friday a little shorter than most, and end it here. Maybe I will write up a quick follow up post. Or maybe I’ll hit the sack and get some sleep.


Hope you guys are lovely. ❀ ❀ ❀

(re)Framing Friday | Week #3

I got this motherfucker done in part with ideas so now it’s time to just plop them in! I should really write down the spread I do in this series, but I keep forgetting. Maybe after this one today!

Video share of the week:

Personally, I love Melissa (the Youtuber above) and she is awesome and you should totes check her out. πŸ˜‰ She addresses the saying that suicide is “selfish” with a better rebutall or response to your loved ones who are in pain.

Music Share of the Week:

This song is a bit dark, yet it’s incredibly beautiful because of it. Do check it out, it’s my recommendation for the week!

Positive Google Images about Light & Hope:

hope 3

light 3

turn_on_the_light positive 3

light -- 3

Glimpses of Artwork from the Week:


Ze poem I did this week. πŸ™‚


Glimpse of ze artwork from this week. More to come in a future post.

Activities of the Week:

  • I made videos for a friend
  • I finished my art work above
  • Did some fancy poetry
  • Wrote for like 3 or 4 daily prompts this week
  • Having an IOOV presentation tomorrow
  • Watched House MD episodes πŸ™‚
  • Kicking Stats ASS like a badass
  • Working on getting a job during the fall semester
  • Hung out with Craig a bunch. πŸ˜€

What to See from Me Next Week:

  1. Artwork
  2. Alliteration Days
  3. Comments, I hope!!!
  4. Teachable Moments
  5. Actual stuff about #RecoveryHome
  6. Studying (my final is the week after)
  7. Book reviews

Book I finished this week:

“The Intruders” – E.E. Richardson

Thoughtful Quote:

“Will you not open your heart to know, What rainbows teach and sunsets show?” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

(re)Framing Friday | Week #2

Welcome to week #2 of (re)Framing Friday!!! πŸ˜€

I have a few things to share with you guys this week, so let’s jump on in! Part of this….I’ll be making up as we go! XD

Video of the Week:

I’ve been using this guided meditation a few times a night and it’s worked wonders to help me fall asleep! πŸ™‚ Practice some snazzy self-care with this meditation, or look for other videos by other creators whose voices soothe and calm you. (Personally the Honest Guys are my favorite, but they may not work for you).

Music for the Week:

This above song I found through the Youtube channel “Vet Ranch” which features some amazing dog/cat/animal transformations from bad beginnings to brighter futures. This is one of the songs they show at the end of their videos. So, it’s awesome, and deserves a shout-out!

I first came across this song when a blogger pal mentioned it in a post. At the time, I didn’t check it out, but I did hear it subsequently on the radio a few times and it’s grown on me. So, it also deserves a mention for the week! πŸ™‚

Positive and Inspiring Pictures (from Google):

Positive 2self love 2

Self-care is important. In order to truly help others, you first must be healed. If you preach advice, make sure you are taking your own and applying it to your life. ❀ Be good to yourselves, out there. You deserve kindness, greatness and the bestness. πŸ™‚

believe 2

inspire 2

I love this last one. I’ve used it before in a scrapbook journal. πŸ™‚ I hope it tickles someone else’s soul, too.

Glimpses of Artwork from the Week:


What do you think the above photo is? πŸ˜‰ IMG_00002930

My newest WIP!


Watercolor set!


Artwork on the train while listening to music! πŸ˜€

Activities of the Week:

  • Creating new artwork
  • Getting through appointments
  • OCD Support Group on Tuesday evening
  • Been filling out the times in my planner!!
  • Pretty quiet in terms of blogging. Hoping to be more active this weekend.

My Hopes for Next Week:

  1. Download some new music to my iPod
  2. Create more artwork
  3. Continue working hard in Stats
  4. Recruit some Photo Club members
  5. Read
  6. Commit to 2 blog posts at least.

Thoughtful Quote:

“Above the cloud with its shadow Is the star with its Light” – Victor Hugo

from “The Language of Recovery”

Hope you guys enjoyed this edition of (re)framing Friday! πŸ˜€


Stationary Saturday


A more positive post, because that’s how we move on from the sullen and the gloomy here at Recovery to Wellness. We hide our dark posts will lighter ones. ^^’

Any who, I DID take pictures of the stuff I bought at Michael’s, and I intend to share it with you guys now.

Also, I’ve FINALLY been working on my #RecoveryHome, if I’m especially good I’ll have that updated for us all tomorrow. :3 I’ll have to make a note of it though. And I think I’ll do that Liebster award I was nominated for about a week ago…because I have this feeling I was nominated for something I just can’t remember what it was or from whom…. weird.

ONTO THE STATIONARY FOLKS! (what a bitch ass divider ;))


Whoops it’s blurry!

Fuck me, it’s blurry. Ah well, basically this is the shot of this 95 piece scrapbooking KIT I got for $15. Which, in my defense, feels like AN AWESOME BARGAIN. Because normally scrapbook albums are like $20-30 and I got this baby for $15 WITH all the inserts inside, a bunch of stickers, cardstock, etc. FUCKING GENIUS.


Come ON, this album cover just REEKS of RtW!!! I saw it from afar and was like ‘Yesssss, that is meeeee’ so I bought it! πŸ˜€

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  1. A little mini magnetic clipboard with notes! I feel like I could whip out this sucker in interviews or meetings and feel like such a BOSS.
  2. More notecards for self-care!! πŸ™‚
  3. Stickers!!!!
  4. Page flags
  5. Card stock!! Woot woot
  6. A year long inspiration journal with prompts about reasons to be happy, healthy, thoughtful and top 10 things to be grateful for, what you want to achieve that month, etc.


Okay, I’m done. πŸ™‚