A throwback photo, both for those of you who’ve been at my blog from the start and for how long ago I took this, back in 2013.
Photograph & article by Raquel Lyons
I dream one day of being an inspiration, and I think in many ways, I’m already living proof of that. I never would have thought four years ago that I’d be the person I am now writing this article series. In my worst moments, most of which happened in 2018, I had started to believe that I was worthless, that I didn’t matter nearly as much as I thought I did, that it would be better if I had never existed.
And now, here I am and I couldn’t be happier. Here I am now, alive and intact, which is more than I could have ever asked for before. My mission, my journey in recovery isn’t over yet and it feels really, really awesome to say that. To think that where I am now is just the start of these “good old days” feels so freeing and remarkable. At the time that I wrote this article, I had almost fallen back into the abyss with “Ultron” or depression, as I nicknamed it after the MCU, and it was “Avengers: Infinity War” and wanting to see that movie that kept me out of the hospital. I think I’ve genuinely found new meaning to my life and a solidification of my bouncy houses in the horizon that I want to be alive; I want to be there for the next movie, I want to be there to find out what happens next. If any rogue bus comes and hits me now, I will be so irate.
I guess related to that, my newest dream in recovery is to have more days like this, where everything is gold and sparkly and I love myself and everything in my life. I have so much more hope, pride and purpose in my life, and I’m clinging onto that so when it does get dark again, I have this rekindled spark within my soul to stay alive, to make it through that next crisis. I’ve dipped my roots so deep into the ground that I want to have more to lose than I have to gain with my actions.
“Worldwide Recovery Recognition Month” is a daily blogging spree held in August to represent each and every story that exists out there with people thriving in wellness and recovery, sharing their story to remind others out in the world that they are not alone and that they each matter and can become someone again post-recovery. I made it up in May 2017, so this will be the second year of my debuting it.
My next dream in recovery is to write a novel. That one called tentatively “The Cards We’re Dealt” that takes place in the afterlife and follows Noah on his journey of finding his own purpose, mattering and meaning of life and death and what everything means. I have the outline of how it begins and ends in my mind, and just have to actually start writing it and enjoying the ins and outs of his perspective and the other characters he encounters.
I think I’d also like to write a memoir, a more specified piece of my life rather than the collection of all of it. I’d even like to make a workbook-like kit for “Recovery Home.”
I also want to give a TEDtalk, one day. I think you can guess what the subject of that would be.
When I earn my bachelor’s degree, I want to become a mental health specialist at a very particular hospital. I want to spend a couple of years doing that and then segue into peer support specialist along with all my nonprofit dreams and then acquire an art therapy degree or later become some type of therapist. Initially the dream was therapist, but I think I’d like to spend some of my life and time about sharing my own story and then helping other’s share theirs and incorporate more art therapy principles into my own artwork and the projects that I wish to create.
I want to align myself with my nonprofit friends like Michael Landsberg who created the “Sick Not Weak” campaign in Canada and Tiffany Lewis who runs the “Pens for Pals Organization” in Texas.
I want to continue to grow my Youtube channel, exploring young adulthood with various videos (like cooking and washing dishes), and I even have an upgraded set-up for that, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll get a tattoo, too. And lastly, I’d like to dye the ends of my hair blue. I just think fancy colored hair would top off my own attractive level and encapsulate me as a unicorn. I’d say unicorns are my spirit animal, and you can’t have a rainbow lighthouse without a unicorn.
I will leave my article with this: look within yourself for your own dreams in recovery and when you find them, never, ever let them go. Go out there and chase your dreams, the ones that are healthy and helpful, because you can and you will make a difference out there. Every large movement starts with one little wave. Stay safe, readers.
Written April 28.2018 🙂
I hope that you enjoyed this piece!! I’m posting it the next day to just space out some of my work. ❤ ❤ ❤ Love & light to you all!
Which I took back on May 3rd 2013. It’s the spring blooming tree outside our old science building at the UMB campus.
RecoverytoWellness 