Could have sworn this daily prompt was the word ‘hiding’ instead. Ah well, it still works. Any who. Short post today.
My therapy session, as I said on Twitter today, got a volcano shoved up its ass. What that means is one of my parents was present and we were still talking about things that happened two weeks ago that I was just uninterested in and felt like we were living in the past (I wanted to talk about current events, live feed as my therapist said). It was the first time in therapy where there was a noticeable tension (I didn’t notice it, T did) and I was going through all other alternatives to escaping the situation. I thought and imagined storming out, ending the session there, crying (I was nearly there), and others I don’t care to remember. It felt like there was no way out and I got overwhelmed and felt like there were no options, at the same time as my reminding myself to look for those options.
It was a shit storm.
T and I managed to salvage the rest of the session (half an hour) and come up with a plan ahead of time if that ever happens again, which is helpful. T also offered for me to have another appointment tomorrow, which they don’t do as a rule, to help salvage the situation. Which I appreciate. Felt guilty for, yes, but m definitely appreciating that now assssss
My parent is STILL in a sour, bitchy mood because of it. Or, because of what happened. *rolls eyes* STILL. It’s like eight hours later and they haven’t spoken to me since.
Then with my Youtube video I got a notice that one guy’s music is copyright claimed so then I felt overwhelmed that I couldn’t find an alternative song and what to do about it and there’s just not a lot of good, free music online and I just got stressed out.
I took myself out of the situation and the Internet for a while, listening to my iPod in my room, smelling the sachet I got recently (the nice smelly scents in a pouch), texting people and drawing, or trying to. I didn’t like how it was coming out though, but I tried again and this is what I wound up with:
I went full blown artsy with it, listening to music and just expressing myself purely. Haven’t done this in a long time, especially in this medium, not since I took that art class almost a year ago. It was rather freeing, and I’m pleased with the results, and will likely be more pleased and comfortable with it as time goes by.
It has my RtW signature and the date 7/27/17 on the bottom half. I used graphite pencil, 2H pencil, charcoal and my fingers (the streaks and to blend).
It’s fitting, because it’s a gray scale of a person in a fetal position, which is a throwback to my old depressive episode days. I’ve always wanted to draw this just never got around to it.
Today I felt like hiding when all the shit was hitting the fan. Now, I just want it to be over. Here is the outline I first did:
And also some other angles of the main image:
That’s all I got for today. I really didn’t and wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to blog tonight, and I’m glad that I still prevailed even if it was beyond my scheduled time (I don’t blog now after 8p). Hope you enjoyed this post!
Thanks for stopping by! 🙂 I’ll feel better soon. ❤ ❤ ❤ xxx