the world is on fire: and maybe it’s with the scar that reminds | #SummerComer #PoetryChallenge Entry #10


Hi again!

I’m a few weeks late with this post after a lengthy amount of procrastination and not using my time wisely–which, honestly sounds like a Me Problem, ahahha.

But, I’m here now and we’re back with weekly poems. So this was written as entry #10 in the challenge from July 24th 2020. I hope that you enjoy it because this was one I really remembered and was quite proud of! I even mentioned it to my friend Jirah in my last full post for the challenge, which I will include a link to below. Thanks for reading!!! ❤


THE RULES

  • each post begins with the thumb above
  • each poem will be individually titled and labeled by the entry number in both the piece itself (at the end) and in the title
  • each post will include any background music used to “set the mood” which will be listed at the end of the entry
  • each poem loosely exists within the context of summer but is not strictly limited in constructing that imagery. I.e. it’s a summer project but may venture outside of that topic/theme-wise. 🙂
  • the goal: one poem each week from the end of May to the start of September under the hashtag: #SummerComer

Check out Entry #8 here and the Life Update that took place instead of Entry #9. (Which would have occurred the week of July 12th – 18th) 😀

Now, without further ado…..


the world is on fire:

and maybe it’s with the scar that reminds

 

Trigger Warning: metaphorical self-harm, gun violence (USA), pandemic COVID-19

paper to pen

clacking fingers to

fading keys

 

sunlight interwoven

with moonlight.

 

dancing in the breeze,

an owl hoots,

wondering how many licks

gets to the center

of a Tootsie pop.

 

music filters through the air,

hanging in the invisible

structure,

carrying to hairs in the ear

that distribute sound

and a brain that works

to identify the garbled mess

into that of something-ness.

 

wounds lay bare,

arms heavy with the

weight of metal holders

and casket bearing bullets.

 

waiting for another

one to crack.

waiting for another

one to slip through the surface.

how many this time?

gun violence

a normal occurrence,

when it shouldn’t be.

 

it shouldn’t be.

 

pandemonium:

causing dry mouths

and hacking coughs.

 

quarantine, they say,

stay at home,

but they don’t.

not all.

 

some go out

and some face the world

without a shield

and call themselves heroes,

proclaiming that the world

is safe

when it’s neither

all safe

or

all destructive.

 

it’s somewhere in the middle.

 

life is a series of shades of grey.

 

it cannot be defined by such

strict parameters.

 

but while those who go out

to the world with confidence

in their chest that

they’re doing the “right” thing,

more people get exposed,

some who cannot handle that

exposure,

and so death rates and infection rates

soar.

 

i grow weary with these realizations,

shoulders aching from the pressure.

 

i grow weary with these predicaments.

 

the world keeps turning,

the earth revolving–

another shot fired,

was it intentional or accidental?

self inflicted?

or buried into the flesh of a

person who was taken

far too soon?

 

i sit back,

i watch.

 

and i type these words,

not contributing to anything,

only in the smallest senses.

 

the world is on fire.

 

it is.

 

and somehow,

the burns

don’t sting quite so bad as before.

 

maybe it’s with the scar

that reminds

that healing has taken place

after all.

 

healing has taken place,

after all.


Technical aspects:

Written and edited: 7/24/2020

Mood Music: Multiple (unspecified)


About the Poem: Was going to say the “scar remains” but reminds showed up instead and so I went with it. Kinda like a stream of consciousness type poem and very helpful for me to have written. I didn’t know I was feeling or thinking some of these things. This piece also reminds me of a beautiful poem my friend on deviantART made here about the Parkland shooting (which I’m now writing poetry this year like them, I don’t capitalize very much these past few entries, which is very interesting to me). I’m actually really proud and happy with this piece. I wanted to do some writing and other artsy activities but didn’t want to reread old fanfic chapters in case it broke the writing vibes (I haven’t had any in the last two weeks as of the third full week in July) so this was refreshing and very helpful. I hope that you enjoyed it! Deciding on a title was the hardest part! I really wanted to showcase that scar line so I’m pretty happy that this is where it wound up.

So, that’s it for this post! Thank you so much for stopping by, reading and if you would be ever so kind as to leave me a thought or two, I’d love to reply to them! 😀

Until a couple days from now.

xxx

❤ ❤ ❤

Music for typing this post: “People Like Us” by Kelly Clarkson (and the inevitable dance moves sitting down can provide) 🙂

No One Was Meant to Deal with This Life Alone | #SummerComer #PoetryChallenge Entry #8


Another late post, sorry about that!

Check out Entry #7’s poem here.

Also, let’s just jump right into it! 🙂


THE RULES

  • each post begins with the thumb above
  • each poem will be individually titled and labeled by the entry number in both the piece itself (at the end) and in the title
  • each post will include any background music used to “set the mood” which will be listed at the end of the entry
  • each poem loosely exists within the context of summer but is not strictly limited in constructing that imagery. I.e. it’s a summer project but may venture outside of that topic/theme-wise. 🙂
  • the goal: one poem each week from the end of May to the start of September under the hashtag: #SummerComer

Week #8’s Entry:

No One Was Meant to Deal with This Life Alone

“…You are not hopeless

Though you have been broken

Your innocence stolen

 

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It’s true, I will rescue you

 

There is no distance

That cannot be covered

Over and over

You’re not defenseless

I’ll be your shelter

I’ll be your armor

 

I hear you whisper underneath your breath

I hear your SOS, your SOS

 

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It’s true, I will rescue you

 

I will never stop marching to reach you

In the middle of the hardest fight

It’s true, I will rescue you

 

I hear the whisper underneath your breath

I hear you whisper, you have nothing left….”

— Lyrics from “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle

Trigger Warning: Depression, self-talk, implied suicidal ideation

(but also hope, rebirth, love, compassion, care, humanity, facing adversity, triumphs, worthiness, positivity and recovery)

your shoulders are weary.

 

your vision is lost.

 

you struggle to gasp for breath,

to pull in the air,

to let it out again.

 

you long for death.

 

but you cannot make it occur.

 

you’ve chosen a different path,

and still the pain bleeds blue,

and you feel you wish you could

surrender to it.

 

I see you.

I hear you.

I know your pain,

as it’s become mine.

 

I want you to know:

you’ll get through this.

there will be hope again.

this isn’t how your story ends.

there is more strength within you

than you realize.

the waves will leave and they will come again,

but they will always leave,

they will always fade,

so where you struggle,

you will find courage

and with that courage

you can find aid,

because no one was ever meant to

deal with this life alone.

 

so I will search for you,

I will search for you in the light of day

and in the darkest caverns of the night.

 

I’ll exclaim your name

because I know it to be

my own,

and I will find you,

I will find you,

and bring you back into the beacon

of the light that I know you will

feel again.

 

I will hold you,

tightly,

and remind you of all the reasons

you have to stay alive.

 

because you’re needed here,

you’re needed.

 

and we want you here,

we want you.

 

you are loved.

you are strong.

you are a warrior.

you are a survivor.

you are worthy.

you deserve to take up space.

you deserve a happy and healthy life.

you are amazing.

you are brave.

you are wondrous.

you are you

and no one can ever replace you.

 

so please,

please don’t try and replace yourself.

 

I see your shadow in the darkness,

the outline of grey that hangs in the air,

and I’m coming for you now.

I’m coming like the waves,

and when I find you,

I will secure you with the firelight

and you can sit back and hear the sparks

crinkle into the atmosphere around us

and you can find something in it,

something there,

that allows you to breathe an easier breath,

for your heart to beat another tune,

and for the world of pain to ebb away slowly,

finding yourself again

exactly where you thought you lost yourself.

 

you will be whole.

you will fall into acceptance.

and you will fight for a brighter day ahead.

 

because they come.

they do.

and we need you here

more than the heavens above require you.

 

so fight.

fight hard and fight loud.

we are here.

 

I am you.

 

and I want us to see another sunrise.

in the fading billows of the smoke,

in the joyous taste of a s’mores,

into the day ahead,

continuing onwards,

continuing over and over.

 

because we need to.

because the world is better

with us still in it.

 

and when you struggle to see the light,

I will hold it out for you.

 

and one day you’ll find,

that you can hold it out

for the next person you try

and save–

kindness and humanity

falling out of your palms

as you climb the highest hill

and call out their name.

 

because it’s you again,

in a different vessel,

it’s you,

and you’re as determined as I was

to find them,

to encourage them,

and to show them the world,

because they deserve to see it, too.

 

and on and on the story will pass,

endlessly into the dawn ahead,

and when the moonlight and the starlight

come out to shine,

someone else out there will find guidance in them,

peace in them

and be able to smile satisfactorily and feel

their soul beat with the crowd of souls that linger

by their side,

warming the air around them,

reminding them that

they

are never alone.

Technical aspects of the poem:

Written 7/10/2020

No mood music specified.


About the poem: So it looks like I wrote this poem the following day from my Goodbye Athena blog post. I was still dealing with the ramifications of that post into that day and I found out that late Thursday evening that I started Mother Redbird’s appearance (which would make more sense why I was so emotional). So I was still feeling the effects from it and needed to vent and had a harrowing day. I did it in the hopes that I could write or edit some fanfic afterward. It captured my mood pretty well,  I think, I found myself hanging on every word just now rereading it, and it is a hopeful poem even if it starts off dark and depressing. Such is life at times, huh? I think it’s a pretty worthwhile poem altogether speaking. I believe this preceded an email I sent to a friend called “Struggle Lane” and in between me working on a new fanfic chapter update.

If you are struggling with your mental health or suicidal ideation and you live in the USA you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline either by phone (1800 273 8255) or through their chat service. I used the chat service this day which I felt the person I spoke to didn’t understand either the OCD I live with or the situation of me writing about Athena however it DID allow me time to talk with my Mom and initiate help-seeking behavior in THAT way. So, it’s still worth a shot!!

So yeah, that’s what’s behind this post at least. I hope that you are having a nice day and I’ll be updating this blog with a few new posts in the coming week.

Have a pleasant weekend!!

❤ ❤ ❤